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Pregnant.
With another man’s child.
I slam my hands on my steering wheel until my palms hurt, then glare up at the big, boxy hospital building.
What the fuck?
Sucking in a deep breath, I close my eyes for a beat. What the hell did I expect, coming here? That unicorns would fart rainbows and butterflies and I’d live happily ever after?
Now I know the truth: Lily really did do me a favor by pushing me away. It doesn’t help the fact that her lie—a lie by omission, but still a lie—has the sting of betrayal. Even after I told her about my ex and the kid I treated as my own, she didn’t have the decency to tell me what was going on. Why? Was she afraid of my reaction? Did she want me to keep clinging on like an idiot? She could have told me on our first date and saved us both a lot of trouble.
As I turn the key in the ignition, I wonder if that would have worked. If I’d known about her baby as we sat watching the sunset together, would I actually have refused to see her again? If she’d told me she was pregnant when she talked about the cancer, would I still have felt that deep desire to protect her, or would I have walked away?
I don’t know how to answer those questions. My chest feels torn to shreds, because all I really want to do is go back up to her room and wrap my arms around her.
But then what?
I heard her voice when she learned that Phil had left his wife for her. She sounded hopeful.
She doesn’t want me. She probably just wanted a man to lean on, and I was the fool who gave her the chance.
Tires squealing, I race out of the parking lot and head back to town. I park outside my office building and storm inside, locking myself behind my door and burying myself in work.
Iliana lied to me. She kept secrets from me. She did exactly what my ex did to me, which was make me feel attached before pulling the rug out from under me. It’s better to end things now, because what the hell else is going to happen?
I won’t be the fool who gets attached to another man’s child before having fatherhood ripped away from me again. I’ll never meet a woman and ride off into the sunset. I’ll have one-night-stands. I’ll fuck. I’ll be a bachelor until I die.
Isn’t that what I always knew would happen? Nothing has changed.
But as the sun goes down and I stay locked in my office, I can’t help feeling like everything is different. This pain in my chest just isn’t going away.
CHAPTER 35
Lily
My mother runs interference like it’s her job. I don’t see Phil at the hospital again, but I think I hear his voice outside my door. When I’m discharged, Candice brings me home and stays with me until I’m settled, then my mother comes to stay the night.
I’d love some privacy, but it hurts to move and I feel weak and tired. No morning sickness, though, which is a good thing.
After three days at home, when the pain in my chest has gone down to a throb and an annoying itch, I finally answer one of Phil’s many phone calls, bracing myself for his hostility. For once, I’m alone in my apartment. My mother has gone out to get groceries, and both my sisters are busy. Nora hasn’t stopped in and I’m pretty sure she’s in Reno again.
“Lily,” he says, his voice soft. “I’m glad you answered.” That charm faucet is turned up to full blast, and I’m too weak to put up my walls.
I lie back on my couch and close my eyes. “Hi, Phil.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Great,” I answer, feeling anything but.
There’s a pause. “I’d like to see you. Talk to you. I’m sorry for how I acted at the hospital, but I just hated seeing you there with another man.”
I’m not sure what to say. The last thing I want to do is talk to Phil, but he’s the father of my child and he came all the way to Heart’s Cove to see me. Don’t I owe him a conversation?
I sigh. “We can meet tomorrow.”
“Great,” he says, a touch of smugness in his voice. “What about that café on Cove Boulevard? Four Cups?”
I grimace, then pause. On one hand, I know if we meet at Four Cups I’ll have exactly zero privacy. Not only does my sister co-own the joint, but that’s the congregation spot for all her—our—friends. My mother is always there along with Dorothy and Margaret, and there’s no guarantee Rudy won’t be there either.
