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With a fresh wave of terror, I notice the stain has spread. She’s bleeding and in pain and I’m going to lose my fucking mind if anything happens to her or the baby.
I thought I was going on vacation? I thought I was going to leave?
Never in a million years.
Using the car’s Bluetooth, I call 911 as I put the car in gear and speed down the street, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight I can’t feel my fingers.
“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”
“I’m in the car with my—” I only hesitate for a second, because I know what Lily is to me. I’ve always known. “I’m in the car with my woman. She’s pregnant, but there’s blood and she’s having severe abdominal pain.” Distantly, I notice my voice is steady.
Lily reaches over and sinks her nails into my thigh so hard I know it’ll leave marks, even through my jeans. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except getting Lily some help and making sure I’m right here by her side.
Where I belong.
As I talk to the emergency responder, a sense of clarity washes over me. It doesn’t matter what Lily says, or how many times she pushes me away. It doesn’t matter how long it takes or how many times I need to try to convince her. She’s mine. She’s been mine since the day she walked into the bookstore, and she’ll be mine until the day I die. I’m claiming that baby inside her too.
My woman and my child are in trouble, but I’ll be damned if I lose either one of them.
CHAPTER 40
Lily
The last thing I remember is passing out when a pack of nurses and hospital staff haul me out of the car. I remember Rudy’s face through it all, tight with tension but firm with resolve.
Then, nothing.
I open my eyes and realize I’m in a hospital bed. There’s a blurry shape in the chair next to me, and for the second time in only a matter of months, I croak the first name that comes to my lips. “Rudy?”
He jumps up from where he was slouched, as if my voice woke him up. He comes into focus as he leans over the bed, his hands smoothing over my forehead and cheeks. “I’m here, baby. I’m right here. You’re okay. The baby’s in the NICU, but they think he’s going to be okay.”
A drop of water hits my nose, and I realize it came from Rudy.
“Why are you crying?” I ask, my voice sounding oddly distant. I try to lift my arm to wipe the wetness off his cheeks, because a man like Rudy shouldn’t be crying. He should be dating someone young and carefree and unburdened.
But even as the thought crosses my mind, I know I don’t want that. I want him to stay right here beside me forever and ever and ever.
“I’m crying because you scared the shit out of me, Lily,” he says with a soft laugh. He presses his lips to my forehead, and it feels like he’s doing it to reassure himself that I’m really here. “I’m glad you’re awake.”
“I want to see my baby.” Everything feels fuzzy, but I find Rudy’s hand and squeeze. “Take me to my baby, Rudy. I want to meet…” I blink, some of the blurriness clearing. “You said ‘him.’ It’s a boy?” My voice trembles, and Rudy’s face splits into a smile.
“A beautiful baby boy, Lily. He’s perfect, just like his mama.”
“I want to see him,” I repeat in a hoarse whisper.
“You will,” he assures me. “Let me just call the nurse, okay? You had to have an emergency C-section and you’re not supposed to move.”
I think I fall asleep for a while, because when I wake up, the room is full of people. My mother, my sisters, a couple of nurses…and Rudy. He’s holding my hand, standing right where he was when I passed out as if he hasn’t left my side.
I like the thought of that—Rudy being by my side. The thought stays with me as my mother bustles on the other side of me. Pushing myself up, I pause when I feel lightheaded. I’m getting real sick of feeling like my body is giving out on me. The blanket covering me falls to my waist, and I touch my stomach, feeling bandages beneath the hospital gown.
More scars. A breath slides through my lips, but I also feel oddly proud. I’ve been sliced open and poked and prodded for months now, feeling like death was on my doorstep, but I’m still here. I’ll have marks on my breast and stomach for the rest of my life, but I’ve made it over another hurdle.
I’m still breathing.
And I’m going to meet my baby today, no matter what the nurse or doctor or anyone says.
My mother and sisters are talking, telling me a million things that I don’t have the energy to listen to right now. My mother squeezes my hand and I give her a smile, then turn to look at Rudy on the other side of me.
