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His eyes flash as he lets out a dry snort. “You know, some days I regret calling Amanda at all, then I come in here and see how hard you’re working on these new recipes, and I feel like an asshole for ever letting those thoughts cross my mind. You deserve this, Jen. But Amanda being the one to publish your book doesn’t mean you can’t explore what exists between you and me.”
Another spasm grips my chest. My mouth grows dry as I blink up at Fallon, still holding that stupid spatula between us like it can save me from whatever he’s about to say next.
“I don’t know how else to say this, Jen, so I’m just going to say it as slowly as I can.” He leans forward. “I’m not interested in Amanda. I’m interested in you. Can you get that to sink in? Am I being clear enough?”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. The man sure does have an overbearing, condescending way of professing his affection for me.
“And what about her, hmm?” I ask, tilting my head. “What does she think about that? She’s still staying at your house, no? She’s still flicking her hair over her shoulder and giggling at every stupid comment you make, yeah?”
His eyes slide away from me.
I’m on a roll. I cross my arms—spatula still gripped in hand—and cock a hip. “And what about the book, Fallon? Have you thought about that? How do you think Amanda would react if she came to Heart’s Cove to check on my progress with the recipes, only to find out I’d shacked up with the man she was pining after?”
“She’s a grown woman, Jen. She’d deal with it.”
“Yeah? Or maybe she’d pull out. Maybe I’d end up with no book deal, then you’d wake up next to me one day and realize you’re bored because I’m literally the least exciting person in this town, so I’d end up with no book and no relationship.”
Fallon’s body goes rock hard. His eyes flash, anger written on every line of his face. “Is that what you think? You think you need to choose between me and your career? You think I’d just move on from you without looking back?”
“I don’t think, Fallon. I know.” I turn back to the cake and with a sigh, pick up the cake board and tip the whole thing into the garbage.
“You’re a coward.” He says the words quietly, but they still hurt like hell. “You’re afraid of what we could have together.”
Swiveling my head to meet his gaze, I can’t help the hurt and anger zinging across my chest, carving that nasty word into my bones.
Coward. Coward. Coward.
His teeth grind as he watches me, and I will myself not to cry. I won’t cry. I can’t.
Lifting my chin, I grit my teeth to stop my bottom lip from trembling. It takes all my energy to keep my eyes from filling with tears.
How dare he march in here and say those things to me? After one kiss, I’m supposed to just drop everything and be with him? I’m supposed to put my dream at risk so he can have his fill of me and then probably toss me aside in a few months’ time?
Yeah, right.
I’ve worked for this. Me. Sure, he introduced me to Amanda, but she was impressed with my recipes. My baked goods. My skills.
What happens when he gets bored of me? What happens when he changes his mind?
Not worth it.
“You should leave.” My voice is icy when I say the words, and Fallon clenches his jaw at the sound of it. But you know what he doesn’t do? He doesn’t move. I tilt my head. “Leave, Fallon. I have work to do, and I don’t feel like having insults hurled at me while I do it.”
His arms drop to his sides and he releases a long sigh. “Jen, I didn’t… I’m not… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to troubleshoot this recipe and bake another batch before your ex-girlfriend shows up here tomorrow morning asking for a progress update. Maybe when you go home tonight, you can give her that progress update yourself.”
Then I, very maturely, bang a mixing bowl down on the counter and start pulling ingredients closer. My jaw is tight, eyes are burning, but I will not cry.
“Jen, listen.”
“No, you listen,” I grind out, letting anger sweep over me. “You can’t just pick me up and put me down at will, Fallon. I’m not your toy. And I’m not going to sacrifice the one thing I really want—this recipe book—for some unknown relationship with you that might last no more than a day.” Eyes blazing, I take a step forward and poke his very broad, very solid chest. “I get that you like wanting things you can’t have. I get that you’re probably used to women fawning over you because you know how to cook and you’re hot and you have a body like…like this. But listen to me good, Fallon, because this is important. I am not those women. I choose my book. I choose my career. I’ve worked my ass off and restarted my life over when I was thirty-five to pursue baking, and I’m not going to let some infatuation ruin that. I’m good at this. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’ve found what I’m meant to do. So, yeah, maybe I’m a coward, but I’m not going to make Amanda hate me just for the chance to kiss you again. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.”
I’m panting hard now, and I think that may be the longest speech I’ve ever made in my life.
Fallon, somehow, looks angrier than when I started. “An infatuation?” he asks slowly, enunciating the word with careful precision.
“Well, what would you call it?”
