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Several strong emotions pass across his face in quick succession, too fast for me to identify, but raw and real all the same. He nods, holding my gaze as if he wants to make sure I believe his next words.
“If there’s one thing you can count on in this whole goddamned world, it’s that me and my brothers willalwayscome for you,” his voice dropping low as if he’s making a vow. “No matter what it takes. No matter what the risks. Nothing can keep us from coming to your side. I love you, Solnyshka, with my whole fucking heart. And I can’t live without my heart. Just like I can’t live without you.”
I nod, tears burning in my eyes. He’s said those words to me before, but they hit me almost harder in this moment than they did then—partly because they almost seem unnecessary by now. Every single thing Malice does is a declaration of how much he loves me.
“I love you too,” I murmur back. “With my whole fucking heart. I didn’t want to live without you or your brothers either. There were times… when I almost wished I was dead. But I knew I had to keep living so that I could get back to you.”
Malice makes a noise low in his throat, a rough, pained sound. I almost regret telling him that truth—admitting that I almost wished for death—but at the same time, I’ve never been able to hide anything from these men. They’ve seen my best and my worst, and incredibly, they seem to care about me because ofallof it, not just the good stuff.
We stare at each other for a long moment in silence, something unspoken passing between us. His dark gray eyes are just as intense and piercing as always, and all I can do is look back at him, feeling something grow in the air around us. It’s tender and raw, but in a good way, like we’re seeing the deepest parts of each other and it’s only strengthening the bond we have.
I can see the desire in his face. Desire for me, desire to help me—all of it. And I feel a faint stirring of that inside myself too.
Fuck, I want to kiss him so badly.
I want to feel his arms around me, to feel him claim me.
But another part of me still rebels at the thought.
I know Malice isn’t Troy. He’s a better man than Troy could ever be, and despite the roughness and darkness in him, he’s always taken care of me. So it’s not like I’m afraid to have Malice touch me. But it’s almost like my body can’t distinguish between a touch I crave and one I fear right now. It twists me up inside that I can’t take comfort in him the way I want to. The way I know he wants to.
The moment lingers, and I know that if this was another time, I’d already be on my back on the bed with Malice buried inside me, his large body looming over mine as he filled me up so completely that I couldn’t think about anything else.
But neither of us moves.
Me, because I can’t, and Malice because he’s following my lead. It turns awkward, at least in my mind, and I look away from him to the rest of the room, which is surprisingly empty.
“Where did Ransom and Vic go?” I ask as the little bubble of tension between us dissipates. For now, at least.
“They went to get food,” Malice says, sitting back on his heels on the bed. “We ate the sandwiches last night, and we saved one for you, but it probably won’t have kept very well in the mini-fridge. So they went to get something else.”
Almost as if on cue, the door opens a second later, and his two brothers come striding in. They’re mid argument as they come through the door, Ransom gesturing with his hand even though it’s weighed down by a bag of food.
“For fuck’s sake,” he says. “It’s not that big a deal, Vic. It’s not like I’m saying we should start living on cheese fries and apple pie. It’s one fucking day.”
“That’s beside the point,” Vic replies. His face is impassive, but there’s annoyance in his blue eyes. He’s also carrying a bag of food, one even bigger than Ransom’s. “As I’ve said already.”
Ransom rolls his eyes. “Listen, you got your way, didn’t you? Do you have to be right about every single thing?”
“I don’thaveto be. I just am.”
“What the fuck are you two bickering about?” Malice interjects. He eyes the bags in their hands, and I blink when I realize just how loaded down the two of them are. “And are we feeding a fucking army?”
“Your brother, in his infinite wisdom—” Ransom begins.
“Oh, now I’m justhisbrother,” Vic mutters. “Charming. Lovely.”
“As I was saying.” Ransom talks louder. “Vic decided we needed to get a bunch of health food shit, and started driving clear to the other side of town to go to some place with stir fry and wheatgrass and whatever other hippie shit because—”
“Because Willow needs to regain her strength,” Vic interrupts. “She needs to recover. We don’t know what that fucker was feeding her while he had her, and it’s up to us—”
“To pamper her a little,” Ransom continues, cutting him off smoothly. “Which is why I said we needed to stick to some comfort foods. Burgers. Milkshakes. Things that spark joy. Not rabbit food.”
Malice just gives them both a look like they’re ridiculous. “So you couldn’t compromise.”
“Getting bothwasthe compromise,” Ransom mutters.
Vic shakes his head, putting the bags down on the desk in one corner. “Look, if I had my way, I would have been able to cook for Willow myself. That’s what Ishouldbe doing. But since I can’t, this is the next best thing.” He folds his arms, a stubborn look crossing his usually impassive face. “I’m not going to apologize for that.”
