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“Willow,” Ransom says firmly. “Nothing would make you less than perfect to us. I can speak for my brothers when I say that. It’s not about being able to touch you, and you’ve been through something fucking awful. No one’s holding that against you. It doesn’t change you. Who you are inside.”
I look up at him, confused. “But I feel like a completely different person.”
“Maybe some things about you are different,” he allows. “Maybe it’s going to take some time for you to get back to who you think you’re supposed to be. Maybe you have to heal some before you can like the things you used to like. But the parts of you that we fell for? The parts that make you Willow Hayes, badass bitch and sweetheart? All of that is still there. It might feel further away right now, but it’s not gone. Nothing could kill that in you.”
He sounds so sure of himself, so determined to get me to hear what he’s saying and believe it, and that, combined with everything else he’s said, makes my heart swell. It’s everything I needed to hear right now, and I lean up, putting my arms around his neck so I can kiss him.
Ransom kisses me back, responding immediately. As if I needed it, his almost instinctual response is just more proof that he always craves me. That even what Troy did to me and all the horrible abuse he put me through will never stop Ransom from wanting to be with me.
But as soon as his mouth comes alive over mine, I tense up.
Ransom presses in closer, deepening the kiss, and my stomach coils with fear and nausea. For a split second, I’m back in that house, and it’s not Ransom holding me close, kissing me because he loves me, but Troy, holding me down and kissing me because he can.
I squeeze my eyes shut tighter and drag a ragged breath in through my nose. I try to fill my lungs with Ransom’s unique scent, letting it chase away the bad memories so I can push through this.
I want this. I want to be able to kiss and touch my men the way I used to. I want to go back to being the uninhibited sexual creature I discovered inside myself thanks to them. I fought so hard for that, to be comfortable and not shame myself for my desires.
Being held captive by the trauma Troy inflicted on me feels like taking a giant step back.
I must make some noise or go stiff or something. Some way that Ransom can tell. Even though I try to keep going, clinging on and kissing him harder, as if I can brute force my way past my trauma and find some pleasure on the other side… Ransom knows better.
He gently pulls back and unwinds my arms from around his neck. He kisses my knuckles softly before releasing my hands, so tender and understanding.
And then takes a step back, putting more distance between us.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt, the words spilling out of me. “I’m trying—I don’t want it to be like this.”
“Willow.” His voice is soft. “It’s okay. One day, I’ll fuck you like you want. My brothers and I will erase every memory of Troy left on your body. We’ll remind you who you are and why we love you, and it’ll be fucking amazing. We’ll overwrite every bad thing that’s happened by worshiping you like the goddess you are. But not yet. When you’re ready, and not before.”
“What if… what if it takes too long?” I ask, unable to hold back. “What if—”
“Then we’ll wait,” Ransom replies, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “We’d wait forever for you, pretty girl.”
It’s just as sincere as the words he used to tell me he loves me, and all I can do is nod, tears burning in my eyes.
His expression hardens a bit, and he lets out a shaky breath.
“That fucker got off too easy,” he says darkly. “I wish I could go back and make him hurt the way you’re hurting. Vic and Mal both got their chances to make him bleed, and I wish I could’ve taken a turn too. He deserved to suffer way more for what he did to you.”
“You’re starting to sound like Malice now,” I say, smiling a little. “That’s both your brothers in one day.”
Ransom huffs a laugh, the harsh edge of anger bleeding out of his face. “Don’t say that. I have to be the rational one of the three of us, or we’ll never get anything done.”
“I think you guys take turns being the rational one.” I pause, considering. “Or at least, you and Vic do.”
He laughs again, and the tension in the little dressing room starts to ease. The moment breaks, and he tucks my hair behind my ears as we smile at each other.
“I don’t think this is the dress,” I say, finally answering his earlier question.
“Agreed.” He moves in to help me with the zipper without being asked. “On to the next one, then.”
It’s easier than it probably should be, to go back to dress shopping after that. The weight of our conversation is still there, the meaningfulness of the words we spoke lingering in the air between us, but we focus on other things for the moment. Ransom stays in the dressing room with me while I try on more dresses, helping me get into them and take them off.
In the end, the gold dress wins out, and he looks very pleased with himself as I survey my reflection.
“I told you,” he says. “You shine. Nothing could dim your light when you look this good.”
“I do like it…” I chew my lip, gazing at our reflections in the mirror.
