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I tap my fingers on my leg, ordering my thoughts. “You know how I’ve struggled with things. I struggled for years with the baggage from what happened to me. Even after I met you, and I wanted to open up and wanted to touch you and everything else, I couldn’t for a long time.”
“I know,” she murmurs. “But you still made a lot of progress. You worked up to it.”
“Exactly,” I tell her, nodding.
She blinks, seeming to get my point. Her smile is tentative, but so beautiful. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For trying so hard. For working to get where you are. So we can be where we are now.”
“Of course. I would do anything for you.”
I mean it. There’s no hesitation or doubt in my words. And as I speak, a thought sparks in the back of my mind.
I hesitate for a second, working it over in my mind. It’s a good idea, I’m pretty sure, and although it’s something new to me, Ididjust tell Willow that I’d do anything for her. This is a small thing in the grand scheme of it all.
So I get up from my chair and start to head for the door. “Come with me.”
Willow frowns, clearly confused, but she follows me to the bedroom where the massive bed we’ve all been sharing sits against one wall.
“What are we doing in here?” she wants to know.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell her, then stride out and head for another room that’s become a sort of storage room. Our growing collection of gear and weaponry is stashed in this room, and I go to a bin where I remember Ransom tossing a coil of rope.
I pull it out and return to the bedroom, and when Willow sees me walk in with the rope held in my hands, her eyebrows shoot upward. I see a flicker of recognition in her eyes, and I’m sure she’s thinking of the last time the two of us used a rope in a bedroom.
It was the first time I fucked her.
When she let me tie her up.
But instead of telling her to get on the bed, I hand her the rope and then crawl onto the firm mattress myself. I lie down on the middle of it, then look over at her expectantly.
Her mouth falls open, a tiny gasp falling from her lips.
“Vic, are you saying…”
I nod at her. “I want you to tie me up, just like you had me do to you once. It’s a small thing, but maybe it will help you take back your control right now. It helped me.”
Her eyes go wide, and I can tell she’s shocked that I’m offering. Honestly, a part of me is surprised by it too. There was definitely a time when this would’ve been the last thing I would have given to anyone. But it’s different with Willow. I know her. Itrusther. And this might help.
“Are you sure?” she breathes, sliding the soft rope through her hands. “You don’t have to do this, Vic..”
“I’m sure,” I tell her. “I trust you with my life. So I trust you with this too.”
Willow gazes at me for a moment, emotions I’ve never quite seen before crossing her face. I wish I was better at naming them, because they make something in my own chest ache, and she swallows before she nods once. She shifts the rope in her hands, testing the heft of it, and then climbs onto the bed with me.
Before doing anything else, she kisses me, her mouth soft and warm against mine. I lean up into it, letting her press me down to the bed as she goes.
Her touch is gentle when she grabs my wrists, drawing them up and toward the headboard. There’s a look of concentration on her face, as if she wants to be sure she does this right, and it’s endearing to see.
Her knots aren’t as good as someone like Malice’s would be, but they hold as she starts to bind my wrists to the headboard.
I test the knot work when she’s done, and something flares through me when I realize she’s tied them well enough that I’m not going anywhere until she releases me. Not without a good deal of effort, at least. My heart pounds in my chest, and I have to lick my lips.
“Okay?” she murmurs.
I nod, my voice hoarse. “Yeah. It’s okay.”
Finally, she smiles, and it’s a more genuine smile than I’ve seen on her face in days. Heat and something like mischief light in her eyes, and she traps her bottom lip between her teeth. Her hands move down my body slowly, going from my arms to my chest, and she lets herself explore.
The glint of desire in her luminous brown eyes grows brighter with every second, and I can tell that she’s turned on not just by the situation, but also by the show of trust. Or at least, I think she is. That’s how I felt when she let me tie her up, and she seems to feel the same way.
