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Now she was coaxing him to admit his feelings, as he had so often done for her.
“Your anger is beautiful to me,” she went on, “but only when I feel reassured I am not the cause of it.”
It was her turn to tell him he was not immune. That it was all right to be angry.
“I could never be angry with you,” he said. “Only at the situation.”
She frowned. “You are unhappy with my decision.”
“I weary of it!” His voice rose. “I don’t know how much longer I can bear to stand by and watch when you’re in danger. After what Skleros almost did—what he might have done—I watched you place yourself in the Dexion’s hands. I got through the night, and I didn’t stop you, and I respected your decision. But I’m not sure I can do that even one more time. It’s too hard. I think that’s wrong of me, but I am trying to stop holding myself to a standard I cannot achieve. This is one I can’t achieve, Cassia. I can’t watch you take that risk alone again and not be able to lift a finger to protect you.”
He rubbed a hand over his mouth, as if that would put his fangs back in his head. The tense silence he had created made him second-guess his outburst.
Then Cassia said, “I’m glad you told me.”
Lio let out a breath.
“I want to apologize,” she said. “A better apology, now that I know why you are unhappy.”
“I’m not sure you have anything to apologize for.”
“I’m sorry I put you through that. Your feelings are more important to me than any information I might have learned.” She hesitated. “There are times when I must face risks alone, and you must let me. You have done so every single time I needed you to. Next time, I will do what you need.”
A relief more profound than he had imagined made him pull her into his arms. “Thank you, Cassia.”
“I put you to the test, don’t I? And you always pass. But you don’t deserve to be tested, you who are the surest person in my life.”
“Sure. I would much rather be that than perfect.”
“Then you can stop trying, for you have achieved it.”
“Cassia, there is something else I must confess. The danger to you was not the only reason for my anger.” He sighed. “I am a diplomat, but I am also your lover. I am not in the least immune to getting cheated out of a dance with you by another. I am not immune to…you not fulfilling a commitment.”
Had he really just said that? He was grateful to even have her here in his arms against all odds, and he was upset with her for not giving him a dance she had promised him? For not finding a way to overcome the obstacles that weren’t her fault?
She drew back. “Would you rather I have sat it out than danced with Chrysanthos?”
“I’m sorry, Cassia.”
“I don’t think you have anything to apologize for, either.”
He rubbed his face again. “Yes, I would rather you not dance at all than give our dance to someone else.”
She swallowed. “It wasourdance.”
“The one we danced the night you asked me to become your lover. The steps we took while you made that declaration to me. It’s sacred. How could you dance that with anyone else—withhim?Why does every secret, precious thing that isoursget paraded around and debased bypolitics!My effort to bring you home to me was not a calf in a glass cabinet! Our dance is not a tool for interrogating the enemy!”
The windows rattled. Lio held Cassia’s hands gently in his.
“I was afraid you would feel that way,” Cassia said.
Lio frowned at her, his magic throbbing in his head. “You were?”
“It’s the most natural feeling in the world. I realize now it would have been better if I hadn’t gone through with the dance. But I thought it would be all right, as long as I make it up to you afterward.”
The notes of an unseen lute crept into the tower with the fragrances of the garden.
“That’s our dance,” Lio said.
