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“Where are you going?” She shook her head, following him.
Cassia found him with his head on Solia’s lap. She sat on the bench under Kassandra and her sister’s tree. The sight gave Cassia hope. Why would Solia be here if she did not want to see Cassia? If she blamed her beyond the hope of reconciliation?
Solia scratched Knight’s chest, not looking up. “They’re moving my things out of the barracks. My guest room is right next to yours.”
What a mundane thing to remark on. What a monumental upheaval in Solia’s life.
Cassia sat down beside her. Perhaps her sister would let her be supportive, as she had when facing Tendo. “What do you need to do first?”
Solia rubbed Knight’s ears. “The Empress didn’t tell me. I stood there like a fool, waiting for orders. But she gave me none. All the decisions are mine to make now.”
A specter of grief passed across Solia’s face. Was she thinking of Lady Iris? How she must wish for the advice of her handmaiden, friend, and co-conspirator. But Iris’s wisdom had died with her when she had sacrificed her life so Solia could escape Tenebra.
“Why don’t you stop thinking about it for the rest of the night and start fresh tomorrow?” Cassia ventured.
“That is an unfairly sensible thing to suggest at a time like this.”
It’s all right to hate all of this, you know, Cassia wanted to say. It’s all right to be angry. But the words that came out of her mouth were, “Are you angry with me?”
Excruciating emotion welled up inside her. She had been a destroyer of kingdoms today, but curse it, right at this moment, she felt like a little child again. It seemed her life would be over if Solia disapproved of her.
Now she had Solia’s full attention. “Angry with you?”
“I just got you back. If this causes me to lose you again—”
Solia grabbed her close and held on tight. “You are too precious for me to waste a moment blaming you. Angry? Of course. At you? Never.”
Cassia heaved a sigh, aborted tears slipping from the corners of her eyes.
“I would still die for you,” Solia said.
“I will not let you become a martyr!” Cassia drew back. “Now it’s your turn to refuse the crown. I told her no. So can you.”
“She liked hearing no from you, I now realize.” Solia got to her feet, pacing under the tree. “I have been so blind. All this time…it was me she planned to put on the throne.”
Cassia slid a hand into Knight’s ruff. If she was to be guilty of tarnishing Solia’s view of the Empress, so be it. Without Tendo to persuade Solia, it fell to Cassia to give her sister reasons to rebel against her destiny. “She manipulated us. It was the Empress, not the Rezayal, who hid my presence in Orthros from you to further her plans for us.”
“Goddesses above and below. I should not be surprised.” Solia gave a humorless laugh. “After I boasted of forging myself into your perfect general, how neatly I have allowed myself to be outmaneuvered by the royals. And the diplomats.”
Her gaze was not on Cassia as she said it. Solia paused, looking back toward the guest wing where Lio waited. “I could never be angry at you. I know you had no choice.”
Cassia got to her feet. “What? You cannot think Lio somehow forced me into this.”
“He didn’t have to.” Solia turned back to Cassia. “I am the one who brought you back from the Maaqul after you’d been apart from him. No one needs to tell me what your bond means. I held you in my arms while you were dying of the Craving.”
Cassia took a step forward. “I’m so sorry you had to see me like that, Soli. But I’m safe now. You and Lio rescued me.”
Solia’s face hardened. “You did not pay with your life that time, but what a price you paid tonight. You had to give up your mother’s legacy because of him.”
That was when Cassia realized that although her sister didn’t blame her for her decision, Solia did not understand it at all.
Solia’s eyes were full of anguish. “I considered every possible solution. Ever since I learned he is your Grace, I tried to adapt our plan. A marriage to a heretic, a Hesperine king consort—all of that was out of the question, of course. You would have had to conceal your bond with the utmost secrecy.”
“How can you imagine I would want that life?”
“I was lying to myself, thinking we could manage it. All it would take to destroy you and your reign would be separating you from him. If your enemies ever discovered what he is to you, they would have held the ultimate power over you. And with your life dependent on him, you could never put your kingdom and your subjects first. He is your weakness. Strategically, there is no answer. You cannot be queen with the Craving for a Hesperine.”
Cassia opened her mouth to protest how her heart would have broken long before her body died. She had kept her love for Lio a secret before, and she could never endure that again.
