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“Oh, God, Aeir. We’re having a boy. Your father is going to be ecstatic.”
“Why do you think I couldn’t get him off the phone? I told him the news and made him promise to let me tell you myself.”
“That’s why he cut our conversation short?”
“Otherwise, he would’ve given it up.”
“That man can’t hold water,” she tittered.
“He really can’t.”
“Well, I think that calls for a celebration. Let me call him back and tell him to be home by seven. We’re going out for dinner and a little music.”
“Mom, you didn’t need to find out you’re having a grandson to have a reason to get out of the house. You were probably planning to do that, anyway.”
“You’re right, but now it makes more sense.”
“Alright, honey, I guess I’ll talk to you two later. Tell Dad not to let you show him up on the dance floor.”
“Girl, your father isn’t seeing me on the dance floor.”
“Goodbye, woman. You’re not twenty. Watch your mouth.”
“Bye. I love you!”
“I love you, too.”
I ended the call, holding the phone against my chest. My parents were happy to finally have a grandchild. They thought their chances had been ripped away from them nearly three years ago.
Thinking of the baby boy growing in my belly, my mind automatically shifted to Aussie. I missed her something awful. Aside from the calls she made to me from her iPad and the few lessons I’d been able to teach her over the time we’d been separated, I heard nothing from her. Sometimes, I wondered if she missed me as much as I missed her. I felt like I was losing my mind with her so far away.
My apartment was in the city. It was a far cry from the farm she was able to run wild and free on, but I was certain she’d enjoy her time here if she came. I simply hadn’t built the courage to contact Malachi to ask permission for her to spend time at my place, or share the responsibility.
I hovered over her name on my phone, wanting badly to press the call button. However, I knew her line was connected to Malachi’s phone and both would ring if I called her iPad. That bit of knowledge kept me from calling her more often. I was left waiting on her weekly calls and they weren’t nearly enough.
I opted for the message thread between Malachi and me, contemplating asking him if we could meet somewhere public so I could get Aussie for a few weeks. The gray bubbles were plentiful and had been rolling in for two months. One after the other, he apologized for the words he’d said and insisted on forgiveness.
I love you.
It was the last text he’d sent, two days ago. Before that, he’d sent the same text almost every day, never missing more than two days at a time. Between the constant ‘I love you’ confessions were the more intricate messages that detailed his feelings, his regrets, and how he planned to go about everything differently if I gave him the chance.
I feel like I can’t breathe. My suffering was inevitable, but can you put it to rest? Can you come back? Can we talk? Can you give me a few minutes of your time? Can you give me a chance to right my wrongs? I’m sorry.
The thread went on and on. I’d read every message he’d sent, but I never responded.
Aeir. Talk to me, baby.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Happy Birthday to the most beautiful girl in the world. The mother of my children. The conqueror of my heart. My whole world. The Aeir I breathe.
Along with that message two months ago had come two Apple Cash payments of $5,000 each. I accepted them both, used them for my first and second month’s rent, deposit, and to furnish my place. The remaining balance went into our son’s savings.
I hadn’t expected to spend my birthday without Malachi. However, that was how things turned out. I wasn’t one to question God’s timing, so I let it play out without complaint. There were tears and there was heartache, but by the end of the day, I’d picked my head up and traveled the distance to pick Jae up from the airport.
