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“Are you in love with Ham?” It’s the gentleness of Declan’s voice that has me sagging onto my bed. “Because it’s cool if you are.”
I have no idea what to say. It should be easy to deny, to reiterate that Ham and I are just friends, but the words aren’t coming.
Even under threat of having my fingernails pulled out, I might not be able to say it.
“I don’t know,” I finally manage to croak. “How do you know?”
My question refers to how you know you’re in love with a person, and Declan—the most attractive and charismatic of the Dodd brothers—would be the best person to ask, but Perry doesn’t take it that way.
“You stare at him with this moony look on your face,” he says, demonstrating with a hang dog expression, complete with fluttering lashes and mouth stupidly hanging open.
I smack his shoulder. “I do not!”
“You kind of do,” Declan confirms. “It’s not that bad, though. You don’t look like Perry, don’t worry.”
“She kind of does.”
“Stop.” And then, “Does Ham know?”
“Everybody knows,” Perry says with enough emphasis that I hide my face in my hands. “So, yeah.”
“He hasn’t said anything, so that means…” I can’t even say the rest. He hasn’t said anything about me mooning over him because he is quite content to stay friends. Nothing more, nothing less.
“You don’t know that,” Declan says quickly.
“I do know that he’s never hugged me like he just hugged Jacqueline, so that should tell me something.”
“That was kind of an overly friendly gesture,” Perry agrees.
“You’re not helping!” I cry. “Why are you telling me this?”
“To give you a push. Now that Ham’s not your handler, there’s nothing holding you back.”
“He’s my boss.” I spread my arms, shaking out my hands. “He’s the new head of operations, the person I report to. There’s so much holding me back. Or there would be, if he felt the same way. Which he doesn’t.” I sag again.
“You don’t know that,” Declan insists with absolutely no certainty in his voice. “You and Luke didn’t break up that long ago, and maybe—”
“We broke up last year,” I interrupt. “That’s long enough for anyone to get over anybody, especially someone like Luke. No offense,” I add sarcastically, since Luke is one of Perry’s best friends.
“We’re just saying—”
“Yeah. No,” I say vehemently. “Not going to happen. I already feel like an idiot with the whole—” I mimic Perry’s attempt to imitate me, ending with a sharp shake of my head. “No.”
Even though I say it loudly, the word doesn’t block out the knock on the door.
“See? Someone knocks,” I tell them as I wrench open the door.
Ham.
“Charlotte,” he begins because I can’t say anything, only stand there, praying he wasn’t listening at the door. “Can I have a few words?”
“I’m heading to the gym, so maybe later…”
“Lottie,” Declan chides under his breath.
“I’m leaving within the hour,” Ham tells me. “It’s our last mission together.”
“Oh. Yeah. Guess you won’t miss that,” I say with a bad attempt at humour.
