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Nikolai missed the first few years of Kat’s life and letting them have their time together was the least I could do.
We continued through the aquarium, watching Kat have one of the best days ever. We walked through a tunnel flanked by water and all kinds of fish that swam around us. Even I found myself looking up in awe, having never been to an aquarium myself.
Before long, I was just as absorbed in the occasion as Kat.
“Look!” Kat exclaimed, running over to a station set up for photos with the aquarium set up as a backdrop.
“Want your picture taken?” Nikolai asked as he stepped behind the stationary camera loaded with film.
“With both of you,” Kat said. Nikolai and I exchanged a look.
Nikolai didn’t argue. Instead, he waved for his guard to stand behind the camera, and he silently motioned for me to move closer. Not wanting to upset Kat, I followed along and stood behind her.
With us both behind her, I felt his palm slide against me and settled on the small of my back. A shiver ran through my back at the sensation, and I sighed. His touch alone could render me useless near him.
We each put a hand on Kat’s shoulders while she smiled, sayingcheese!I cracked a smile of my own, and the shutter clicked. The guard’s face was blank as he reached for the film that popped out, and he shook it carefully.
Nikolai’s hold on me lasted a moment longer than necessary, but I didn’t mind. It almost comforted me. Like a reminder that peace between us was possible, and even something to be desired.
I didn’t want to bicker with Nikolai, but he couldn’t leave me in the dark to exist only as Kat’s mother, either. If he wanted my trust, then he needed to prove that he was someone I could put my trust in.
When Kat grew tired of walking, we eventually found somewhere to sit. Nikolai ordered Kat a snow cone, and she couldn’t be happier smearing the blue food coloring around her mouth. She chattered to us happily, going on about how amazing the dolphins were, and that she wanted to come back later.
“We’ll come back as many times as you want,” Nikolai had said. Kat cheered before returning to her treat.
There was no denying how dedicated Nikolai was, and at the very least, I could trust that he wanted the best for her. He was already a much better father than my own had been.
Eventually, we drove back to the condo as the sun began to set, and Kat was fast asleep. Sweetly, Nikolai took her in his arms, letting her slump against his shoulder, and he carried her up to the unit.
Pride flickered in his eyes since he was finally given the chance to be the father I could only assume he wanted to be. Even if he never expressed wanting such a thing, it seemed that he glided into the role easily enough.
Once we were in the condo, everything that was purchased for Kat was placed in her room while Nikolai laid her down on the bed and covered her with the soft pink blankets.
I watched from the side as Nikolai tucked Kat in and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. She was already fast asleep, yet he took his time. He was so kind when it came to her, and it helped ease some of my worries.
Then, Nikolai stood and didn’t spare a glance in my direction. Instead, he left the room and continued to the front door, closing it behind him. He was gone without so much as a ‘goodbye’, or word of when he’d be back.
Sighing, I sank onto the edge of the bed and rubbed at my tired eyes.
A part of me didn’t want him to come back, but the other part of me was disappointed that he was gone. That confliction worried me the most.
Chapter 10 - Nikolai
My want for Mila flared inside me as I stomped out of the condo, reaching for my keys furiously. Unlocking the Audi, I swung inside and blared the music, running a tense hand through my hair.
Pulling onto the highway, I merged into the crowd of cars and gripped the wheel hard, aware of the simmering inside my gut.
As much as I longed to touch her more—to divulge myself and have her screaming my name—that familiar bitterness blocked my ability to give in.
Spending the day with her and Kat made me see how much I truly missed out on. I never got to have those outings with them in the past, not while Mila kept me shut out. I missed holidays, birthdays, and every other day a father would spend with his child.
I missed it all because Mila ran, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was robbed of all those special moments.
Gritting my teeth, I moved into the center lane and grumbled to myself absently.
I understood why Mila did what she did. Her father was as brutal as he was aggravating, and he didn’t deserve to be involved in Mila’s life. He didn’t deserve to know Kat, either. A part of me was glad that Mila trusted herself and ran, ultimately deciding to keep our daughter.
Without that decision, I wouldn’t know her either.
