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“You’re doing great,” he told me, his hand firm and comforting around my back.
I leaned against him just so I didn’t have to look up into his beautiful face, and to hide the tears that were once again threatening to fall. I was actually married to the man of my dreams, dancing our first wedding dance, and I had never been more miserable. Even though we were pressed so close together I could feel his heartbeat under my cheek and my arms wrapped around him without my permission, I hardened my aching heart against him. I had to.
If I was going to find a way to get out of this sham marriage, destroy my father for selling me into this position that was tearing me to shreds, I had to keep Yuri at arm’s length. It was the only way I could regain my freedom. But not right now.
As soon as this song was over.
Chapter 5 - Yuri
The only way I made it through that travesty of a wedding ceremony and reception was because it looked like Kira was going to lose it, and I had to stay strong to keep her together. From the moment she almost took my breath away, practically being dragged down the aisle by her bastard father, to the kiss, when she really did take my breath away, everything seemed like a dream. The kind you wake up from screaming.
If only she wasn’t so ethereal in her white gown. If only her hands hadn’t trembled when she handed over her bouquet so I could slide on the gold band that all too conspicuously didn’t have a matching engagement ring. I needed to do something about that. Or did I?
I was just as adrift as she was though, barely keeping myself from busting out laughing whenever someone congratulated us, or randomly striking out at anyone who wanted to dance with my beautiful new wife.
My new wife. It still hadn’t sunk in yet, despite being in our honeymoon suite at my brother’s hotel. She had changed into a different, much more casual dress before we left Ivan’s house, so there was no excuse to help her out of her intricate gown. I admit I was going to use that as an icebreaker, but once we were in the suite, she disappeared into the bathroom, locking the door and pretending she couldn’t hear me over the running water even when I hollered to ask her if she wanted anything from room service.
I had an inkling her bastard father might have been starving her, because even though she was a mess of nerves at the reception, it didn’t hinder her appetite at all. She hoovered down the shrimp cocktail, the sea bass, and gustily accepted her share of the cake we both sliced while being blinded by camera flashes. The limo ride over here was silent, each of us sitting as far apart as possible. I’d worked so hard to make things less terrible all through the reception, I was spent. If she wanted to contribute from now on, that was up to her.
There was a brisk knock at the door and I opened it to take the champagne and a variety of deep fried snacks from room service. I tried to pretend I didn’t see the two guards stationed in front of the elevator, or the one by the emergency stairs. But I did see them and it pissed me off. If I brought it up, Ivan would surely say it was for our safety, but it was actually to keep one or both of us from bolting. Now that the idea of running was on my mind, if we hadn’t been on the top floor, I might have thought Kira had climbed out the bathroom window, she’d been in there so long.
I could have ignored it and used the other bathroom in the huge suite, leaving her to her own devices for the first night. But my mood was growing darker by the minute, and I was sick of being the bad guy when I’d worked so hard to make her comfortable during the reception. I tapped on the door and told her I ordered food, thinking a week of deprivation might make her want to at least come out to eat some more.
No answer, not even a slosh of bath water. I quietly tried the handle to find the door locked. “Kira, at least tell me you’re okay in there,” I called with a flash of panic. She didn’t hate our situation that much, did she?
“Go away,” she said.
My panic stopped, but I was still alarmed at the sound of her voice, crackling and stuffy from crying. I took a deep breath, trying to understand her feelings. Was she nervous? Back when we dated, she’d been a virgin, but that was two years ago. Surely she wasn’t anymore. The roller coaster of my emotions slid into a ravine of jealousy over whoever might have been the lucky guy, a flash of possessiveness making me want to find out who he was and have my contacts erase him off the face of the planet.
Talk about unhinged. I laughed it off and knocked again. “You don’t have to stay in there all night, I’m not going to attack you. Come on, you should know me better than that.”
The door swung open and she glared at me as she shoved her way out. “I don’t actually know you at all.” Her sudden anger seemed to melt away and her shoulders slumped. The oversized hotel robe she was wrapped in slipped open. I tried not to notice the creamy, exposed skin or the curve of her breasts as she sighed. “But yes,” she continued. “I do remember you’re not attracted to me. That’s why you dumped me, right?”
I dragged my eyes from her breasts, stunned as she tried to breeze past me. Grabbing her wrist, I could only gape at her, finally managing to say, “What?”
She shook her head in disgust. “Oh please, like I don’t remember every humiliating moment.”
“Wait.” I was still in shock. Even though her eyes were red and swollen, just knowing she might be naked under that robe had my cock rearing up and tightening the front of my tux pants. “Is that what you thought? That I’m not attracted to you? Because I’m definitely very much attracted to you. Too much, in fact.”
She blushed, doing nothing to quell my current desire. “Why, then?” she asked, biting her lip as if she regretted the words slipping out.
“Why did I end things between us?” I scoffed and waved my hand to indicate our situation. “To prevent something like this. To try to keep you out of my messed up family life.”
We stared at each other for a minute, both of us finally breaking out in a bitter laugh. “It didn’t save either of us, did it?” she asked, not really needing an answer. She barreled on. “Are you really a lawyer or was that all a front?”
“Damn it, you worked for me. You know full well I’m really a lawyer.”
She shrugged, looking down at her wrist that I still held. I didn’t let go. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. You’re clearly mafia since you went along with my father’s plan.”
“I had no choice.” I winced when that seemed to hurt her feelings. “My brothers don’t think I do enough for the family,” I explained. “They have no idea how much I do for them. They couldn’t imagine the shit they’d be in if it wasn’t for me. But they’ll never get that. It’s all waving guns around with them.”
It almost looked like she was getting heated on my behalf as she scrunched up her brow. “They should remember that Al Capone got taken down for tax evasion,” she said.
“Exactly,” I agreed triumphantly, grinning at her, much too pleased when she smiled back. “I’m surprised you know that.”
Her smile slid off her face as quickly as it appeared. “We watched that movie together,” she reminded me with a sour twist to her mouth. “It was our last date before you dumped me.”
Oh God, we were back to that. I was desperate to keep the hurt from returning to her eyes and pulled her toward the living area where I’d left the room service. It all came rushing back to me. We were at my old apartment, before I moved into my current house, and things got hot and heavy after the final credits rolled. I wanted her so badly it made my teeth hurt, but then she breathlessly admitted to being a virgin.
