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“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, Alec.” She cups my cheek, a forced smile on her face. She’s trying to portray happiness, yet all I see in her eyes is sadness. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Elena, talk to me. Something is clearly wrong.”
She sighs and buries her hand in my hair. “I just… I thought you wouldn’t get the position until after our wedding.”
I stare at her, realization dawning.
She’s right.
She married me to save her mother’s life, but her mother has woken up now, and I… I married her to guarantee I’d get my grandfather’s role. The role I was just given.
She swallows hard and pulls away from me, her arms wrapping around herself. “When you proposed, you said Kennedys don’t ever divorce. But theydonow. Your mother has set a new precedent. Not that that would even matter all that much, since no one knows we’re married.”
I tighten my grip on her waist, my heart sinking. “What are you saying, Elena? Are you saying you want a divorce?”
She shakes her head. “No. I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” I repeat slowly.
Elena looks away and sighs. “I don’t know what I want anymore, Alec. I don’t know.”
I pull away from her, my heart uneasy. I take a step away from her, letting her go. “Look, I just need some fresh air,” I tell her, walking away.
Elena grabs my sleeve. “Alec, no. Please don’t go. I’m sorry,” she says, her voice breaking.
I shake my head and brush her off. My head spins as I walk out of the house. I feel sick. The thought of her leaving me tears me apart—but if I were to hold on to her, would I be tearing her apart?
Chapter 56
Elena
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Mom asks, looking up from her laptop. She’s in bed and I’m lying down next to her, just wanting to be close to her. I hate letting her out of my sight. I’m scared of losing her again. I look up at her and shake my head, struggling to snap out of my thoughts.
“You’ve been acting strange all week. What’s going on? Alec has barely been home either. Are you two fighting?”
I grimace, and Mom squeezes my hand. “Sweetie, you’re worrying me. What’s going on?”
I shake my head and sniff. “It’s nothing, Mom.”
I don’t want to burden her with my relationship issues. I don’t want her to worry about me. I wish I could hide how I’m feeling so she’d never have noticed in the first place.
Alec and I have barely spoken in days. It’s like we just co-exist. Ever since the topic of divorce came up, our relationship deteriorated beyond repair. He’s making me feel like he has no further use for me now that he’s become chairman. The way he’s treating me… it’s what I expected all along. He told me he wanted a wife he could use, someone he wouldn’t have to woo, someone that’d stay out of his way.
I would’ve been able to cope with that if he hadn’t first showed me what he can be like. If he hadn’t given me a glimpse of what it might feel like to be loved by him.
“Mom, do you regret marrying Dad?”
Her smile is bittersweet, and she sighs. “No. I don’t regret marrying your father, Elena. After all, he gave me you. The only thing I regret is staying as long as I did. I should’ve walked out the second I realized he cheated—the second I realized he no longer loved me, if he ever did at all. There’s no shame in loving someone with all your heart, Elena, but that love must be mutual. If you end up giving more of yourself than you get back, you’ll end up a shell of yourself, depleted, like I was. Had I walked out sooner, I might have had a different life. Who knows? I might have actually found true love.”
I stare at her, my thoughts whirling. “Even after everything that happened, you still seem to believe in love.”
Mom nods. “It’s not love that did this to me, honey. It’s theabsenceof love.”
I blink in surprise, and she smiles.
“Honey, the issue both Sofia and I had was that we loved with all our hearts and never received that same love back. Living like that, loving like that, it’s not sustainable.”
