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TAYLOR
“Where is he?”
“With Mila, by the birdbath,” I say. “Would you like to meet him?”
Celine tenses instantly, as though I’ve suggested something far more controversial than simply saying hi to her nephew for the first time. Her eyes cloud over and she glances over towards the fountain.
“I’d love to,” she says, although her tone strikes me as strange. “But how about we take a walk around the gardens first?”
Puzzled, I nod. She abandons her still-full cup of tea and glides back into the heart of the garden. I follow her as she veers right onto a winding pathway set in broken tile pieced together like a mosaic.
“I spent a lot of my time in these gardens that first year,” she explains softly. “I used to take my physical therapy out here because it was better than staring at blank walls all day. I had enough of that during my bed rest.”
“That must have been a horrible time for you.”
She glances at me. “It was hard not to feel abandoned.”
I wince. “I’m sorry.”
She comes to an abrupt stop, and her dress billows around her in the gentle breeze. She looks like a ghost floating among the flowers. Something ethereal. Not quite real.
Compared to her, I feel clumsy, earthen, gravity-bound. All-too real and human and dumb.
“I don’t think youaresorry, Taylor,” she says. “You were off living your life. Being a mother.” Her eyes flash with anger, her body tensing. “I was left behind, alone, trying to navigate through a whole new life without my family by my side.”
I swallow the acrid taste of anger. “Cee, can I ask you something?”
“It doesn’t sound like I’m going to like the question.”
I sigh. “You might not. But just so you know, I’m asking because I’m curious. Not because I plan on judging you.”
She nods. “Go ahead.”
I purse my lips to think the words over, then blow out a puff of air. “Whydidyou stay? I understand you thought you were in love with Ilarion, but…you’d known him for such a short time. And you saw what he—what his life, his world, did to Mom.”
Her forehead creases. “‘You thought you were in love with him…’”
“Excuse me?”
“That’s what you just said.” She takes an aggressive step forward, her voice icing over. “Do you doubt that I love him? Even now?”
“No, of course not! I just—”
“People assume that love is something that comes with time. But it’s not always the case. Sometimes, love can smack you in the face. No warning, no punches pulled.”
She draws in a shuddering breath and turns to face out over the rolling hills of the property. The wind flirts with the hem of her dress, toying it around her legs in low, lazy waves. I stand still, silent, and stupid, with not the faintest idea of what the hell I’m supposed to do next.
Celine pushes her hair away from her eyes and sighs. “It took me a long time to recover from the coma. I had severe bed sores, urinary infections, blood clots in my legs. But what it did to my body was nothing compared to what it did to my mind.” She glances at me. “I felt horrible back then. Ashamed of myself. I didn’t want to be seen. But he never made me feel bad. He looked after me like I was the most precious thing in the world.”
Everything she’s saying makes me want to weep with both gratitude and heartbreak. I never knew it was possible to feel two contradictory things at once, when both are still valid. That is the very nature of this sick, twisted love triangle we’re in—a love triangle that Celine isn’t even aware she’s a part of.
“Cee…” She hasn’t looked me in the eye for a while now. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
She glances at me with a brow raised. “I don’t know, Taylor. Maybe. We’ve grown apart. It’s not as natural as it used to be between us.”
“But it can be,” I insist, stepping forward and taking her hand. “It can be. Just talk to me.”
“What would you like me to talk about?”
