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“She suffered these last few years, Dad. You know that. She wasn’t happy, and for some people, happiness means more than safety and stability. It did to her.”
Fuck.I can’t have Ilarion and those issues rearing up in the middle of this. But the moment I say the words to Dad, I can already feel myself eating them right back.
He shakes his head. “It’s not possible,” he says. “She wouldn’t just… Not without…”
He keeps mumbling to himself. More denials, more rejections. My heart feels like it’s breaking all over again, but I blink away my tears and turn to Celine.
“I know this is a shock—”
“It’s not a shock!” Dad yells, even though I’m not even sure he’s listening. “It’s not a shock, because it’snot true!”
Celine and I both flinch, but we don’t take our eyes off one another. “Cee…”
“It’s okay, Tay,” she says gently. “I know. I’m so sorry you had to do it alone.”
She gives me a tug with her fingers. It’s the lightest of touches, but it’s enough. I end up with my face on her shoulder, sobbing against her neck.
When I finally come up for air, Celine’s cheeks are wet, too, and Dad is still pacing in the far corner of the room, shooting glares at Celine and I as though he’s mad at both of us for accepting that Mom is gone. Like our acceptance is what really killed her.
He jerks to an abrupt stop. “Tell me what happened.”
I swallow and say all the words I’ve been dreading for so long. “She was shot at the engagement party and taken to the hospital. She had a private room. The best care. When I saw her, she was talking, she was breathing, she was stable and doing okay.” Dad opens his mouth to interrupt, but Celine holds up her hand and he falls silent. “I sat with her for a while. I spoke to her… She was tired of fighting, Dad. She was tired of simply surviving instead of living. She was done.”
His chin wobbles. He looks paler than ever before.
“She asked Ilarion to look after you, and then I left her room. A few minutes later, the alarm went off. The doctor ran in, the nurses ran in, and… Well, it doesn’t matter. They said she did it herself.”
Dad drops right back down into his chair. He’s so limp, so damn near lifeless. Like we’ll have to scrape him out of that seat with a shovel.
Celine is quiet, but her breathing is steady. “It’s so weird,” she murmurs. “It’s like I’ve woken up in the wrong world. Some horrible alternate reality.”
“… Payback…” Dad mumbles to himself. “For…all my sins…”
Celine and I exchange a glance. “Dad?” I venture. “I know this is a lot, but—”
“We have to leave,” he blurts. He jumps to his feet. “Right now.”
“Dad,” Celine groans, “I’ve already told you: I’m not going anywhere. I need…I need to talk to my fiancé.”
My whole body twitches, but this time, neither Celine nor Dad notice. I struggle to my feet and walk to the door. “Come on, Dad,” I say gently. “Let’s go. Celine needs some space.”
He shakes his head, but he lets me pull him along.
“I’ll tell Ilarion you’re asking for him,” I say to Celine before I leave her room with Dad shuffling his feet behind me.
We’ve just cleared the medical wing when Dad suddenly grabs my hand. I turn to him, expecting anger, but he looks more panicked than mad.
“Taylor, I need to tell you something—”
“There you are!”
Dad drops my hand as Mila rounds the corner toward us. Her smile is pleasant but distant, though it grows even colder as she looks at my father. “Archie. We have a special room ready for you. I’ll take you there now; I’m sure you’ll want to rest after everything you’ve been through.”
I want to talk to Dad, but I’m not sure if having a conversation right now will be good for either of us. He looks nervous as he glances at me. “Honey, we…we should talk.”
“And we will, Dad,” I assure him. “But right now, you need to process. You’ve been through a lot and you need some time. Don’t worry—I’ll be here.”
“Come on, Archie,” Mila says.
