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Inourdirection.
“W-what’s going on?” I stammer. One of the nurses brushes past me to charge into Mom’s room. The moment she disappears through the door, I feel the blood drain from my face. “No…”
I’m about to burst into the room when Ilarion grabs me from behind. His arms are steel. Every bit as immovable as the man himself.
“Ilarion! Let me go!”
“Lethergo, Taylor.” His voice is low in my ear. Every bit as soft as his grip is firm. He keeps my back pinned to his chest, and no matter how hard I thrash, I don’t get even an inch freer. “It’s time.”
“No!” I cry, straining against his weight. “Mom!Mom!Please, Ilarion!”
To my shock, he actually releases me. I fly forward and hit the door so hard that my palms throb from the impact. But by the time I get inside the room, the commotion has died down. It’s eerily quiet in here. Three nurses stand helplessly around my mother’s bed, and none of them seem to have any idea what to do.
“W-what are you doing?” I yell. “Help her! Fix it!”
I feel a breeze on the backs of my legs as the door opens. I assume it’s Ilarion, but instead, a tall doctor in a white coat steps through. I spin on my heels to beg him for help. “Doctor, please…my mother…”
He walks over to her bed and looks down at my mother. She might as well be sleeping. That dreamy smile is still on her lips.
He sighs. It’s the only sound in the room. Then he turns to me with a mask of professional sympathy. All he says is, “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t understand,” I sob as I reach out to the wall for support. “I was… I wasjustin here!. She was awake, she was breathing—”
The doctor picks a chart up off the foot of the bed and frowns. I don’t really hear much of what he’s saying, or how the nurses respond. My heartbeat is drumming too loud in my ears for me to give them all my attention. But I hear enough.
“Pulled out the IV…”
“…Forcibly…”
“…Difficulty breathing…”
“…Suicidal…”
The doctor looks at me. Says something that’s vaguely an apology. Instead of reaching for paddles or syringes or anything that could possibly bring her back, the nurses reach for the sheets and carefully draw them over her face.
I’m about to scream at them to do whatever it takes to bring her back to me. To stop this nonsense and do their jobs.
Then I catch sight of Ilarion by the door.
That’s the sight that makes it all real. Him standing there, framed by the rectangular trim, tall and huge and so grim-faced. When I see that, I know I’m not dreaming. I’m not having a nightmare, either.
This is real.
I can’t breathe. The doctor’s condolences are drowned out in my own despair. I just want to close my eyes and sleep forever. When my knees buckle, I expect pain to follow immediately after.
But someone catches me. I know who without having to look.
And despite everything…
It feels good to be caught.
28
ILARION
Taylor falls asleep before we even arrive back at the Diamond. I carry her up to the master bedroom and lay her down on the bed. Her dirty blonde hair fans around her face, but she never stirs, not even when I slip off her shoes and pull a cover sheet over her goosebump-riddled skin.
When was the last time I put someone to bed like this?
