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“It didn’t?”
I shake my head. “Celine turned fifteen, then sixteen, then seventeen. She brought her first boyfriend home and introduced him to Mom and Dad. Alec brought a girlfriend of his own home a few weeks later. I figured that was that.”
I glance at Mila, wondering if this whole story is as foreign to her as her life feels to me.
“Then, just before my sixteenth birthday, Alec broke up with his girlfriend. Cee had been single for a few months at that point, and one day, I caught her looking at him. I asked her again if there was something there, and again, she denied it.”
“So you felt free to date Alec,” Mila surmises.
“He kissed me on my sixteenth birthday. I didn’t expect it. I really, truly didn’t. I mean, he was two years older and when you’re in high school, that kind of age difference seems big. I figured he just saw me as Celine’s tomboy little sister. I guess not, though. Anyway, we kept it a secret for a while. We didn’t want our parents to know because we assumed they’d be weird about it. Turned out, Celine was the one who was weird about it.”
“What did she do when she found out?”
I shudder and close my eyes. I can still see her face like it’s seared on the backs of my eyelids. Tears. Red cheeks. Hair wild, and the way her voice trembled before it cracked entirely…
“It was the first time I felt like Celine might never speak to me again.” I open my eyes and look at Mila, who hasn’t moved. “I broke up with him. He stopped talking to me, and eventually moved out of state for college.”
“And Celine?”
“Celine took some time, but she eventually started looking at me like I was her sister again,” I say. “But she never stopped treating me like I was plotting to steal everything she had.”
Mila nods. “So that’s why she didn’t tell you about Ilarion.”
“She’s never going to believe me if I tell her I met him before she did. Hell, I don’t even believe me, and I wasthere,” I groan, feeling my heart sink at the thought of seeing her cheeks go that red again. “I can’t hurt her like that. Not for a second time.”
She breathes softly in the night. “What the fuck were you supposed to do?”
I shake my head. “I was supposed to have my sister’s back. I should’ve—
“No, Taylor. Stop paying the price for her mistakes. You’ve got your own life to account for.” Her gaze flickers down to my stomach.
I snort. “Right. Trust me—myfeelings won’t ever get in the way again.” Mila raises her eyebrows and I realize what I’ve just inadvertently revealed. “Not that—I don’t mean—I don’t have feelings for Ilarion.”
Fuck. Why didn’t I just keep my big mouth shut? Nothing sounds guiltier than an admission of innocence.
“Mila!”
We jerk upright as Dima appears on the path. He waves, and Mila springs to her feet. “When did you get back?” she exclaims.
He doesn’t return her enthusiasm. “A couple of minutes ago. We need you in the den.”
My shoulders tense. “Don’t you worry,” Dima tells me when he sees me on edge. “We’ve got the situation under control.”
Mila turns to me. “Why don’t you head back up to your room and rest, Taylor? I’ll catch up with you later.”
I nod. “Okay.” I know when I’m being dismissed.
She reaches out and her fingers touch my shoulder. “Thanks for sharing all that with me,” she says.
“About that… Can we keep it between us?”
Mila nods. “I’ll take it to my grave.”
I watch her walk up the path until she and Dima melt into the mass of shadows at the mouth of the gardens.
When I’m sure they can’t see me anymore, I follow.
39
