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CHAPTERONE
Beth
“Will youkeepit secret, though, if I tell you?” Lucy asks me with a knowing look. She’s my best friend, and we’ve been living on top of each other, sharing the same room while her dad’s been working overseas.
I pout when she asks me, pretending to be shocked she’d even have doubts about sharing a secret with her bestie. Though I’m aware of my track record as much as she is, I’m already shifting my fingers to my chest. “Cross my heart,” I promise her, hoping she doesn’t pick up on the gulp of dread that goes along with it.
I can’t keep my mouth shut for five minutes. It’s a bad habit, but Lucy’s news is big. I can see it broadcasting on her features—news so big I know she’s having second thoughts about telling me, let alone anyone else, especially her dad. The dad of hers that I gulp extra hard about every time I hear him mentioned these days, more so now that he’s coming home.
Lucy twists her pursed lips while eyeing me sidelong and humming to herself as she weighs things in her mind.
“Are you gonna tell me or not!?” I finally whine, lifting a pillow from my bed and tossing it at her. She catches it easily, but instead of throwing it straight back or launching into a pillow fight like usual, she hugs it to her chest and chews at her lip. It makes me feel a pang of worry that goes beyond my own little secret I can barely admit to myself. It’s that constant, obsessive habit I have now. That stupid game I play in my mind and lose every time—having a forbidden crush on her dad, but that’s not what’s eating at Lucy. The thought of her dad and I would make anyone laugh out loud because it’s ridiculous. Her dad, Dr. Bowdie Bigg, is a successful doctor twice my age.
Plus, anyone who wants to joke about his name changes their mind when they set eyes on him. He’s not exactly the typical dad-bod, over-forty-type guy. Bowdie looks like a linebacker because he used to be one, so it’s not unusual for people meeting him for the first time to remember their manners, look up when they speak to him, and do as they’re told.
I know Lucy can becomeunhingedoccasionally, losing her temper in a way that most people can’t or probably shouldn’t. Despite all his professional credentials, it’s clear to see which side of the family she gets it from. Lucy’s dad, Bowdie, is also the most handsome, sweet, and caring man alive. So, a man like that and a heavyset, curvy girl young enough to be his daughter isn’t gonna happen. Not in this universe, anyway, but I’ve got rising emotions of a different kind.
“Lucy, what happened?” I venture, not meaning to jump to conclusions. She has a turbulent history with her boyfriend, Josh. It’s been on again, off again, and she’s only known him for a few months. Her secret should be her relationship with him, but I can see something bigger upset her in a way that even her fiery temper can’t handle anymore.
“Did Josh—? Did he hurt you?” I ask, feeling the sting of her expression as she narrows her eyes and looks at me, instantly on the defensive.
“No, Josh did nothurtme,” she says hotly. “I told you that one time he got mad was just one time. It was a mistake,” she says without convincing me, looking more and more like a girl who’s decided not to tell her best friend her secret after all.
I know what I saw that day. I saw it with my own eyes. I still shudder to think what might have happened if I hadn’t walked in. As much as I used to like Josh, I can’t stand being in the same room as him after that day. Something about him gives me the creeps, but Lucy’s smitten, and Josh is perfect in her eyes when he’s not acting psycho, which is often lately.
“Lucy—” I start to say, wanting to apologize but also remind her of a few things, but the muffled knock on my bedroom door interrupts us.
Dad.
“Come in if you’re good-looking!” I chime, and only after Lucy recovers herself. We’re a couple of girls who wanna have the sleepover that never ends, and for the most part, that’s what it’s been until today. No matter what’s going on, we always keep up appearances for my dad. It’s his house, and he’s let Lucy stay with us rent-free for six months, feeding her and putting up with all our nonsense.
Now her dad’s coming back, so she’ll move back home. Worse than that, I’ll have to actuallyseeher dad, which gives me a feeling I know it shouldn’t. It hurts and confuses me because I know he could never feel like I do about him.
The door swings a quarter way open, and in a split second, I feel all my insides tied up in a knot. It’s not my dad. It’s Lucy’s dad, Bowdie. He’s a couple of days early. His dark eyes dart to mine as I feel them getting wider, my mouth hanging open, making me look like a moron. He creases his brow and has a brief look of concern, almost the same look Lucy had just a moment ago. It’s supposed to be a happy occasion, so I wait for Lucy’s shrieks and squeals at seeing her dad back home again, but she stays silent.
An awkward silence fills my entire room as I find myself wanting to go to him—to hug him and have him hug me back. Instead, I sit cross-legged in my sweatpants and T-shirt with a hole in the pits, gaping at him like he’s from another planet, which I guess he kinda is. The perfect man—the ruler of the planet “HOT.”
“Daddy!” Lucy sniffs, forcing a smile and lifting herself with some effort. She’s half my size, but whatever’s on her mind has her almost bent over double like a little old lady as she struggles to put on a more cheerful welcome for her dad, doing a poor job of looking excited to see him. The thrill in my chest at seeing him makes up for it if I could somehow let him know how I feel.
“I-I thought I’d surprise you,” Bowdie murmurs. “I flew in a couple of hours ago,” he adds, looking directly at me and making butterflies start churning. A slight sound escapes me, and I feel a flush of heat in my groin. My chest instantly stiffens as the deep sound of his voice vibrates through me, plucking every heartstring as it does, adding to the intensity of the sudden and inappropriate state of arousal he’s given me simply by existing.
My dad appears behind him, craning his neck to see past his best friend. “What’s the matter, Bo? Girls not recognize ya because it’s been so long?” he asks, nudging his way into my room and making Bowdie take a firm step closer to my bed.
His eyes are still on me, and the resting pant bulge of an eighteen-hour flight only inches from my face makes me gulp hard again before I feel my face flush and my mouth dry up, every bead of moisture in my eighteen-year-old body flooding to the one place I need touching right now.
“Lucy? Beth? What’s the matter?” my dad asks, his cheerful expression falling as he studies all three of us, saving his most puzzled expression when he looks at his best friend, Bowdie.
“Daddy!” Lucy exclaims a little more convincingly, shifting her mood for a moment. Suddenly, she’s happy to see her dad and gushes that it’s a shock to see him so soonandunannounced.
“I thought we’d keep it a secret. Your dad coming back early, I mean,” my dad observes, glancing toward me and then at his best friend for what feels like the hundredth time. The thought maybe flashes in his mind, but only briefly before it vanishes. I know what he’s thinking. It’s the only thing I know I’ll ever truly wish for because I know it could never happen.
No, of course not! As if my best friend would be making eyes at my daughter. She’s young enough to be his daughter.
The longer I stare, transfixed by Bowdie’s gaze, I swear I can’t help seeing the same thought in his mind, but in reverse. Or am I just losing my mind?
CHAPTERTWO
Bowdie
