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She swooped in at my face, and I pulled away, pushing her shoulder to avoid a kiss. “Judith, come on. Knock it off.”
“Knock what off? I’m concerned! Darling, I didn’t get your text until just a little while ago. You know how cell service is out here.”
“Cell service is fine, Judith, and guess what? Your phone tells me when you’ve read a text. You’ve known I’ve been here for hours now. Drop the act, okay?”
Her big smile twitched a little. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, love. I was chatting with my sister.”
Oh, really? Because she’d had a five hour convo with her sister last week. She’d told me she’d be working. I held up my phone. “See? This handy little device has a setting, which you’ve apparently checked. So delivered tells me that the message landed on your phone, and read tells me that you opened the text and, presumably, looked at it.”
“I just told you, I was talking with my sister. It’s been ages since we talked.
“You’re mixing up your reasons for blowing me off, Judith. The sister chat was for my department party. Tonight was your big deadline for the commissioned painting.”
“Am I only allowed to talk to Cressida once a month?”
“Whatever, Judith. Even if it is true that you didn’t see my text, we both know you did, you’re only here because I’m dumping you. So just go, okay? No hard feelings.”
She sat down and looked at me, her elegant brows drawn together. “I’m sorry, I’ve no idea why you’re so upset.”
“Because!” I barked. “Because you make me feel like an abandoned puppy unless we’re in bed together, after which you kick me out and ignore me until the next time you want to get laid. You don’t want to hear about my work, you won’t meet my family, you barely want to be seen in public with me, and I deserve better than that, Judith. I’m tired of being the eighth or ninth thing on your mind. That’s not a relationship. That’s not friendship, and it sure as hell isn’t a romance.”
“Well, we’re quite full of demands, aren’t we?” Judith said. “I thought you were a grown woman with interests of her own. Apparently, you’re a needy child. Or a dog, according to you.”
“I’m not making demands, Judith,” I said wearily. “I just wanted you to fall in love with me. And stay that way.”
“You Americans and your notions of romance really cock up the works. You and I have a perfectly nice relationship, and you’re simply overanalyzing it. Grow up, darling. You’re almost thirty.”
“We don’t have a relationship because we don’t relate, Judith. We don’t talk or laugh or…or cuddle or go for walks or get coffee. We used to, and now we don’t. Now, we hook up when you’re horny. I want more, and that’s it.”
“That bump on your head is making you silly. Don’t let’s be mad at each other. Please. I care about you, you know I do. We have such fun together.”
“We have orgasms together.”
“Exactly.” She lifted her eyebrow and smiled, her small white teeth shocking against the matte-red lipstick. “Come on, then. When can we get you out of here? I’ll bring you home, set you up with a hot toddy and make you some toast. Or we can go to your place so your cat can cuddle with us.”
She’d make me toast and a hot toddy, eh? Now that I thought of it, she’d cooked dinner for me twice in six months, both times in those first passionate weeks. I cooked dinner for her twice a week—it had been like a bribe, getting her to spend time with me, and each time, we’d end up in bed. Before she sent me home that is. And I didn’t just cook for her. I plowed her driveway when it snowed Thanksgiving weekend. Ran errands for her, pathetically thinking it was a sign of intimacy that she wanted me to pick up some tampons or toothpaste. I brought her pastries from Zest, bought her ten tiny round gourds for Halloween, fixed her leaking shower-head.
What had she done for me? Allowed me to be in her hallowed presence when it suited her. And if it didn’t suit her, she’d stand me up, cancel, make a tepid excuse without a single pang. I let her, time and time again. My face went hot with shame. If someone treated Hannah that way, I’d kidnap her until she came to her senses. She’d told me, more than once, that I deserved better.
There was no one to blame but myself. That thunderbolt had short-circuited my brain. Maybe the knock on the sink had reversed the damage.
Just then, Delilah came in. “Oh. Hello,” she said to Judith. “I’m Delilah Burrows, the PA.”
“PA being what exactly?” Judith asked.
“Physician assistant,” Del said. “How are you feeling, Sam? Need any ice or Tylenol?”
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just a little throb.”
“Excellent. I knew you were a bad-ass. But don’t be afraid to ask for something if you feel worse. I’m sorry you’ve had to be here so long.”
“Is there a consultant we can see?” Judith asked. “I’m worried about her scarring.”
“That would be me, and don’t be. In a couple of months, you’ll hardly be able to see anything.”
“But you’re not a doctor, are you?” Judith said. “I’d like her to be seen by a plastic surgeon consultant.”
“Judith, enough,” I said. “I’m more than capable of speaking for myself. I don’t care about a tiny scar. Do I have to wait for a CAT scan, Del?”
