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Luke smiled. Hayden would always bounce back, he was guessing. “Never mind. I think I know what you like. And if I don’t … you can tell me.”
Hayden put his face against the steering wheel. “OK. I give up. This is too bloody much. I may be in Paris. If you get any better, they’re going to put you in a film. Please. Come on. Kiss me.”
Luke said, “If you’ll peel your face away from that steering wheel, I will.” Feeling sure again. Feeling strong.
Hayden sat up. Not fast. Slowly, like he didn’t dare to breathe. Luke knew how he felt. He put his hand against Hayden’s cheek, pulled him closer, and kissed him. Gently at first. Carefully, exactly because he didn’t want to be careful. He held back, and holding back was a buzzing thrill. Hayden’s mouth under his, and then Luke’s other hand around his head, too, to hold him better.
Heat. Power. Desire.
Hayden’s hand, finally, on Luke’s shoulder, and then his other one, and he was moving into Luke, starting to breathe hard, and Luke couldn’t be quite as gentle now. He kissed Hayden harder, felt the edges of that perfectly-cut hair under his hand, felt Hayden’s mouth opening under his, and burned.
Five minutes went by, because the song changed. Then it changed again, and Luke saw the steam on the windows out of the corner of his eye and got a jolt of fear. You didn’t call attention to yourself. You didn’t court discovery.
Wait. He’d already been discovered.
He couldn’t shake the unease, though. Which meant, maybe, that it was time to go. He pulled back and said, “Give me your number, and I’ll text you tomorrow. We could have dinner, see where we get. No pressure. Sound OK to you?”
“Yeh,” Hayden said on a breath.
Luke should have gone, but he kissed him once more, because he couldn’t help it, then said, “I’ll text you,” and got out of the car.
His legs were steady. His mind wasn’t. His mind was thinking, Bloody hell. And, Tomorrow. And, Be careful with him.
It was standing in the tunnel, bouncing on your toes, rolling your shoulders, preparing to run out onto the field, centering yourself so the hammering of your heart, the pulsing of the blood in your veins didn’t overwhelm you. It was knowing that you’d be hurting, and you’d be sweating, and by the end of eighty minutes, your legs would have that tremble in them, all the way down deep in the muscle, because you’d given it all you had, and you’d left everything out on the paddock.
It was being ready to play the game full-tilt, flat to the boards. Win or lose.
It was living.
CHAPTER 6
Stakeout in the Parking Garage
Hayden didn’t drive away at once. He couldn’t manage it. He sat there, his hands on the steering wheel, and stared at the concrete wall ahead.
Wow.
Maybe he should get out of the car and walk around a while. He could text Luke and …
No. What was he, seventeen years old?
A tap on the window made him jump, and then it made his heart pound.
When he turned his head, he didn’t see somebody almost as broad as he was tall, with biceps that looked like he was smuggling snakes under there, coming back to say that he couldn’t possibly wait until tomorrow.
He saw, in fact, Julian.
He rolled the window down. He could do that, because the car was still on, the radio still playing soft and low. “Hi,” he said, and couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Julian had crouched down to look into the car, which meant his head was centimeters from Hayden's. He didn’t say hello. He said, “Come out.”
Hayden thought, Why? He actually had his hand on the door handle, that was how used he was to thinking Julian was fabulous and that he was lucky to be with him, but he took it away and asked, “Why?”
Julian sighed. “Because I want to talk to you, obviously.”
“Maybe I need to get home to my cat.” Hayden’s head was still seriously turned around, and he wanted to let it stay there. He wanted to think back over every minute of tonight, not marinate in disasters past. Possibly go to the gym after all, if this leaping energy didn’t settle soon.
Tomorrow, he thought, and got a kick of mingled lust, anticipation, and, possibly, fear. The kind of adrenaline rush that said there was no choice.
