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I know. Careful.
If I don’t want people to know, I shouldn’t say things like that. I shouldn’t find reasons to be jogging by his house or bringing him coffee at work. But that’s the thing… Cam makes me want people to know. He makes me want another shot at that thing we barely had a chance to skim the surface of the first time around.
But while I’m winding up to send caution into the wind, he’s taking a step back from the counter.
That soaring feeling in my chest starts to sink until he holds up a finger for me to wait.
Ducking into an open doorway at the far end of the glass top, he clears his throat. “Dad? Can you handle refills on the coffee for a few? I’ll hit inventory this afternoon.”
There’s a muffled response, and then Mr. Dorsey emerges from the back with a stack of paperwork and a laptop. There’s no mistaking the family resemblance. The fall of straight dark hair and square-cut jaw, the broad build on a lean frame. “Where you off to?”
“Just out back. Come and get me if there’s a run on the register.”
His dad snorts and waves him off.
And then I’m following Cam through the back of the store and out to a narrow strip of fenced-in grass with a shaded picnic table in the center. It’s private and quiet enough that the only sound I hear is the rustling of the breeze through the trees.
I rub the back of my neck. “Hey, sorry about showing up like that. I shouldn’t—”
“I’m glad you did.” He drops onto one bench and signals for me to take the opposite side. “Needed the coffee.” He wags his head with one of those half-smiles I can’t seem to look away from. “It’s not bad seeing you again, either.”
Heat floods my cheeks, and after a minute of studying my cup, I ask, “So everyone inside… knows?”
“That I’m gay? Yeah, they know.” He watches me a second, running his teeth over his bottom lip. “But if you’re worried they’ll make an assumption about you showing up today, don’t.”
I nod slowly, thinking about it for a moment before meeting his eyes. “I’m not.”
Chapter Five
CAM
“You’re not.” He’s not worried? What does that mean?
Trevor must see the gears turning in my head. He sets his cup down and rests his forearms on the table.
“Four years ago, I didn’t see you coming.” He looks away, almost shy. “Yeah, I knew there was something about you. Even before that night, I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. I told myself it was one athlete’s appreciation of another. That the reason I knew the dip and rise of every muscle on your body was because I wanted that level of fitness myself. That the reason I gravitated toward you was because our ambitions matched.”
“Trev.” I stare, stunned by the unguarded words. But I shouldn’t be— it’s how he’s always been with me.
He gives me a sheepish smile. “I thought the pull in my chest and gut was because I was just more comfortable around guys like me. And when I felt that pull even lower, I passed it off as teen horniness. I mean, I was attracted to women. I dated them, casually. So the reality of that attraction sort of snuck up on me. But once I understood it, it was a relief.”
Christ, how am I sitting here with this man again? How is he telling me these things that tear at my heart and make it hard for me to breathe, that touch on a connection that feels as fresh now as it did then? These things that wreck me.
“Except I wasn’t ready.” I let out a humorless laugh. “It didn’t matter that I very much understood my attraction to you. I knew I was gay. I was interested in dudes from the start. And the few girls I took out… well, let’s just say I’m glad I’m not still trying to sell the straight thing.” I shake my head and give him a truth I wasn’t planning to share. “I wish that I’d been brave enough to come out about it sooner.”
“You had your reasons. And coming here today, seeing what you were afraid of losing, I get those reasons even more now.” His eyes meet mine. “But when I left, I didn’t.”
Even now, I remember the look on his face from that last night, the plea and pained disbelief when I rejected him. It still haunts me. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t. You have nothing to apologize for. Not a single thing. If anything, I owe you my thanks.”
I raise a brow, and he shrugs one solid shoulder.
“You helped me figure out something pretty significant about myself. Something I hadn’t recognized on my own. I mean it. And for a short time, it was just… Perfect. So, thank you.”
I nod, but there’s something I still don’t get. “Can’t believe I’m actually going to admit this, but I looked you up a few times.”
The corners of his mouth twitch. “What were you looking for?”
