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Chapter Four
KILLIAN
I poured steaming hot coffee into my travel mug, then leaned against the counter, sighing as the heavy ache of exhaustion radiated through my limbs. I hadn’t slept a wink last night. All I could think about was what Jameson had said and how good he’d looked saying it. Rip the Band-Aid off. As if it was so easy.
“You got some of that for me, cowboy?” His voice had me flinching. I was thankful I hadn’t turned on more than the stove light; the darkness gave me a chance to adjust myself and hide the erection simply thinking of him gave me.
Did I really want him? Or was this just the byproduct of being completely celibate for the better part of six months? I was starved for sex. And Jameson Lorde was sex on two legs.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
He let out a low chuckle. “I live here, remember? At least, until we write this song.”
“Yeah, I know. I mean, what are you doing up and in the kitchen?”
He shrugged, his rumpled hair falling into his eyes. “I’m not much of a sleeper. Too many things running around up here.” Raising a hand, he tapped his temple.
“No wonder you look so tired all the time.”
“Piss off,” he said, but there was laughter in his voice. “What’s your excuse?”
“Good one.” Sarcasm dripped from my tone. “Here’s your coffee.” Did I give him my favorite mug? Yes. Was I going to tell him that? Fuck no.
“You didn’t spit in it, did you?”
“I guess you’ll never know.” I cocked a brow. “Are you afraid of sharing bodily fluids with me, Jamie?”
A flare of heat in his eyes had me fighting the urge to take a step closer. “If saliva is the only thing we share, I’ll be surprised.”
My gut clenched. “What?”
“Blood, sweat, tears. You know, all the stuff that goes into writing music.”
“Oh, right.”
He smirked. “Why? What did you think I was talking about?”
Nope, not going there. He didn’t need to know where my dirty mind went. Screwing the lid on my coffee tumbler, I brushed past him. It took every ounce of strength I had not to breathe in his scent as I walked by. But I had work to do, shit to get done, and I wasn’t going to let Jamie distract me from the job I needed to do for my family. I had to earn my place at Wilde Horse Ranch, no matter what they said.
Because I’d seen how quickly the spotlight can dim, and the last thing I want is a life where I’m not doing something that matters. Music matters. The ranch matters. My brothers matter.
I shrugged into my fleece-lined denim jacket before sitting on the bench by the front door and tugging on my boots. The sky was a multitude of colors this morning; velvet purples and pinks splashed across the horizon, visible from the window next to the entryway. Fuck, I loved this part of the country. At this point in my life, I’ve been just about everywhere you could go. Toured each state, seen the sun rise and set from both sides of the country. Nothing matched the beauty of Sunrise, Montana. It’s why I came home when everything fell apart. To find myself because I was fucking lost.
A shadow fell across the floor in front of me, pulling my attention away from the sky and to the man standing there in his leather jacket and tattered jeans.
“What are you doing?” I stood, coming to my full height, only a few inches taller than him.
“I’m coming to help.”
“What are you talking about? You don’t know the first thing about working a horse ranch.”
He shrugged. “It can’t be that hard. Not if you’re doing it.”
I didn’t flinch at the dig. “That depends on your definition of hard. Complicated, no. Backbreaking? Yeah.”
Jamie shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “If you can do it, so can I. We have music to write, Killian. I need you to be able to devote time to this with me every day if we’re going to make it happen. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to let go of being Jameson Lorde just yet. Are you really willing to give up on Killian Wilde?”
I took a sharp breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I wasn’t ready to quit on my dream. But, my dream had also lost me three of my best friends.
