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KILLIAN
One of my specialties was avoidance. I’d grown skilled at dissociating when things got hard, at numbing the pain with tasks I could lose myself in. In this case, it was horsemanship.
“That’s a good girl. I know you like it.”
I ran the brush across my horse’s beautiful midnight coat over and over, stroking gently until it was gleaming and perfect. Then I spent far too long working on her mane, getting every knot out, and braiding it for good measure. When I finished with that, I picked out her hooves, brushed her tail, and only when I had nothing else to distract me did I finally leave her stall.
Somehow, the handsome Brit who’d broken me still crowded my brain as I slumped down on the chair outside the tack room. It might’ve had something to do with the photo I saw this morning of him locked in an embrace with Aiden Boyd at a restaurant. The headline, Wilde’s out, Boyd is in. The many partnerships of Jameson Lorde.
The jealousy I’d felt over that one picture had sent me down a spiral. Hell, I didn’t even have Jameson’s phone number anymore. I’d been so hurt, so angry at him for making decisions for me that I’d deleted him from my contacts, and he sure as shit hadn’t called me. Instead, it looked like he’d up and replaced me.
Now I was kicking myself because I needed to talk to him. I had a lot of choices to make, and he’d been gone two solid weeks without a peep. Jackie told me he’d already killed the album with the label. Apparently, Jamie told them it wasn’t going to work long-term, but we were still on track to release our single.
I didn’t know how I was gonna survive seeing him, not to mention recording in the studio. The minute I was with him, I’d sure as shit be outed for the heartbroken, lovestruck fool I was. I’d given myself to him and trusted he’d take care of me. Instead, he threw me away.
Except, I wasn’t so sure that was true. Jameson had made it clear he wasn’t leaving because he didn’t want me. He was leaving because he wanted me to be with Big Sky again, and for some unknowable reason, he thought he would drag me down.
I heaved a sigh and leaned my head back, tipping my hat so it covered my eyes. I hadn’t slept more than an hour or two a night since he left me. I couldn’t. It didn’t feel right, knowing he wasn’t in the house.
A soft little meow caught my ear and made me open my eyes. “Scoot, what are you looking for out here?” I asked the orange ball of fur who’d taken over my house.
Scoot weaved himself between my legs, then climbed up into my lap before turning on his motor, and purring like this was the best thing in the world. I ran my fingers between his ears and just let him love on me for a little bit.
“You miss him too, don’t you?” I asked the cat.
It was then I realized that this cat and I weren’t that different. Except, when he wanted love, all he did was ask you for it. And me? I kept quiet for fear of ruining everything.
That was my biggest mistake. But it was something I could rectify if I’d just swallow my pride and go after the man I wanted.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent a text to the only person who could help me.
Killian: I need Jameson’s phone number right now, Jackie.
Jackie: Took you long enough.
Killian: Come on, Jackie, please?
Killian: He left, and I didn’t get to tell him why that was a bad idea.
Jackie: So is the album back on?
Killian: Let’s just say we’re in a holding pattern, all right?
She replied with his contact information, and then the phone flashed with another message from her.
Jackie: Just in case he doesn’t answer because he’s a stubborn asshole.
Then she sent me an address.
Jackie: He’ll be there. That’s where he goes to hide. The gate password is 1234, and if you tell him I gave it to you, I will castrate you in your sleep.
We weren’t going to talk about how terrible that password was.
Killian: I don’t think it’ll come to that. I just need to talk to him.
Jackie: Okay, keep me posted. You two have something special. I can see it in the way he looks at you.
Killian: You never saw him look at me.
