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“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that, Dwayne?”
“Duh,” his friend shot back. “You think I’m wearing this because I’m a Mensa candidate?”
Gamfay rocked back on his heels, while somewhere canned laughter filtered into the room. And now game shows were officially ruined for the rest of Kit’s life.
“Let’s get down to business,” he interrupted. “We want Coffee back. Er, Dwayne. What’s that going to take?”
Gamfay heaved a mighty sigh. “Exactly what you think it will. You’ve got to win a bet.” He grinned. “Easy as eating a mince pie.”
Yordan snorted. “I don’t even know what that is.”
“Meat pie,” Coffee said. “Tastes like shit.”
Gamfay rolled his eyes. “Yours tastes like shit. My pies—”
“Aren’t important right now,” Kit interrupted. “And my nanna’s mince pies are to die for.”
Damn it, he would have preferred a little more preparation before going into negotiations, but that was a vain wish. There was no way to really prepare for something like this, so they might as well get to it now.
“What is important is getting Coffee back. So, what are the exact details of his bargain with you?”
Gamfay gave a low chuckle. “His is unbreakable, but honestly, his whining is getting annoying.”
Coffee perked up. “Good to know.”
“You two, on the other hand, are a lot more interesting.”
Kit shook his head. “Actually, we’re really boring.”
Gamfay wasn’t having any of it. He walked about the room, touching the rumpled bed and making a show of sniffing the air. “Now this is really interesting,” he drawled. Then he batted his eyes at the two of them. “Is it twue wuv?”
“None of your business,” Yordan growled. He had moved next to Coffee, where he was tugging at the clasp of the leash. It looked like it ought to break with a sharp tug, but Kit wasn’t surprised when it held fast.
“Au contraire, my growly friend,” Creepy Game Show Host continued. “What if we wagered on the strength of your wuv?”
“No,” said Kit at the same moment as Yordan said, “Why not?”
“What?”
“What?”
Kit couldn’t believe Yordan would want to wager on their love. Their relationship was an hour old. Nothing was assured, but Yordan shrugged.
“Relationships are tricky, vague things,” Yordan said. “We can twist it as much as he can.”
Which made it a terrible thing to wager on, but Yordan looked supremely unconcerned.
“Our relationship is something we control,” he continued. “Not him. That’s the best bet there is.”
Gamfay clapped his hands together and rubbed them greedily. “I smell a bet.”
Meanwhile, Coffee squeezed Yordan’s arm. “Be careful,” he murmured. “He’s a slippery bastard.”
Thank you, Mr. Obvious. All fairies were slippery, but that didn’t slow down this train. The fairy rocked back on his heels and looked at them with a merry smile. “I like you guys and I’m in a generous mood, so I’ll make it simple. I’ll bet that I can end your happily ever after together with one true statement. If I can’t, you get Dwayne here, free and clear. But if I do…” He waggled his eyebrows and held up two more leashes. “You’re mine.”
“No—” Kit returned. He was not going to let Yordan risk enslavement, but Yordan didn’t give him the chance.
“I agree, but you get me alone, not Kit.”
