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Kit turned to Yordan, who was on the same page.
“There’s a loophole,” Yordan said. “Something we haven’t figured out.”
“Always,” Kit said. It was a fairy bargain after all. “So, what is it?”
He tried to remember everything there was to know about fairy deals and love spells. There was a lot, and all of it might or might not apply to this situation. It was so much that he pressed his hands to his temples as he tried to force himself to focus.
It didn’t work. He needed a sounding board. He needed Yordan.
“What do we know about love spells?”
“That they’re stupid,” Yordan grumbled.
“What?”
“They’re stupid. They never work.” He waved his hand. “The genie in Aladdin even says he won’t do them. He does stuff to make Aladdin more attractive to Jasmine, but he can’t force anyone to love another.”
“Right. Right!” Kit’s eyes widened.
“But that was in a movie,” Yordan countered. “Who knows how they work here? Nero and Josh are stupidly in love. And don’t get me started on—”
“No, you’re right. Love spells are stupid. They can’t actually make us fall in love.”
“But—”
“Let’s say a spell can create a hard-on. Maybe it can make me tingle every time I see you. Maybe it puts humping thoughts into my head, but that’s not love.”
Yordan wrinkled his nose. “It feels like love.”
“Maybe. But it’s not going to give me that feeling of safety whenever I’m with you. It’s not going to make me crave talking to you or change the joy of figuring out hard stuff with you.” He gripped Yordan’s arm. “It wasn’t any spell that made me hold you when you were grieving Coffee, and it sure as hell wasn’t any fairy spell that had me wanting you at the very beginning. I like being with you. I’m impressed by who you are. And I feel wonderful when we’re together because you make me happy. That’s not some fairy spell. That’s love.”
He could feel the truth of his words as he spoke. He knew it was true even as he saw Yordan’s expression soften into hope. He was listening. He saw the possibility.
“I don’t know if we’re going to live happily ever after, but I can damn well tell you that whatever bullshit he’s spouting—” he jerked his head at Gamfay “—doesn’t change how I feel about you one damn bit.”
Just to prove it, he slammed his hand down on the big red button. Right on cue, the arrow dinged loudly as it pointed straight at TRUTH.
“I love you,” Kit said. He knew it in his bones to be true.
Now it was Yordan’s turn, but the doubt was still tight on his face, and Kit’s heart sank. Even if Kit had been secretly in love with Yordan for years, that wasn’t true the other way around. This was too new for Yordan, and the man wasn’t very experienced with this kind of emotion.
Which meant Kit had to explain it to him as bluntly as he knew how.
“A fairy can make you horny,” Kit said. “I’m cute as a button, and I’ve got a great ass. A fairy can make you want to drill me all day and night, but it can’t make you feel safe in my presence. It can’t make you want to talk with me, watch me as I’m sleeping, or call me on my bullshit.”
“I want to call everyone on their bullshit,” Yordan countered.
True. It was one of the reasons Kit loved him. “You told me secrets about yourself. Intimate things. You let me hold you when you cried. You even let me dominate you in bed. That’s not something a fairy spell can make you do. That’s not a tingle in your dick. That’s love in your heart.”
Yordan looked at him, his expression shifting all over the place, the emotions too rapid for Kit to label. But in the end, all he saw was doubt. Yordan doubted, and that was going to kill their happily ever after.
“It’s okay to doubt that this is going to last,” he said. “We’re less than twenty-four hours into our relationship. Of course we should doubt that. But it’s not going to fail because of some fairy spell. No game show host can change what I think of you deep inside. What I feel for you. So, forget the sex, ignore the tingle and all the other physical stuff. What do you feel for me inside? In that place where no fairy can touch?”
He watched as Yordan settled into himself. It was as if he could see the man mentally strip away all the fun stuff and land in that place of self that was quiet and wholly one’s own.
“Do you want to spend time with me?” Kit asked. “No sex, no tingle, do you want to hang out?”
“Yes.” The word was whispered at first. And then it came out stronger. “Yes.”
