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“You couldn’t have seen me.”
“I saw the three of you go into the house together.” She tilted her chin in defiance. “I waited until I knew that the three of you were in bed together.”
He refused to turn away. “But you didn’t find me in bed with Robert and Elizabeth.”
She rolled her eyes. “More’s the pity. It would have given me all the more leverage over Robert and Elizabeth. The day before I caught them, I heard the two of them whispering in a small sitting room and pouring over pictures in a book. They expressed their undying love and commitment to one another and to you.”
He pursed his lips. It was one of his illustrated erotic books. He’d been collecting them ever since he’d realized that he was attracted to both men and women.
“They’d even discussed how happy they were that they were committing themselves to each other and you. Then they agreed to meet at the Overton Dowager House at one the next day.” Finally, she turned her gaze to the garden. “As I said, I don’t care what you do under Overton’s roof. But it’s progressed beyond that, hasn’t it?”
It was a rhetorical question that didn’t deserve an answer.
“If the rumor that you and Elizabeth are lovers takes root, then their lives are ruined. Do you understand?”
“I’ve never been accused of being dense.” Under no circumstances would he verify her suspicions. He had never trusted the woman. “Frankly, madame, I’m having a hard time understanding where all of this is coming from.”
She softened her expression. “I know you love them, and they love you.” She placed one of her hands over his.
He wanted to rip it away, but that would be playing into her hands.
“That’s why I had to see you. Neither Robert nor Elizabeth will send you away, so you have to be the one to leave on your own.” She opened her reticule. Quickly, she withdrew a coin purse and held it out to him. “This contains one hundred pounds. It’s more than enough for you to travel back to Wickford. You should stay with your brother. When Elizabeth and Robert return to Overton Hall for good, then you can see them.” She waved the coin purse in front of Ash. “Or perhaps you could see them during the holidays.”
“You’re trying to bribe me to leave?” he asked incredulously.
Her offer was like something from a Shakespearean tragedy. Under no circumstances would he forsake the love of Elizabeth and Robert. They were committed and married to each other. Besides, if Robert was elected prime minister, would he ever come home?
“I’m trying to help ease your pain when you leave Robert and Elizabeth.” With a weak smile that was supposed to relay her empathy, she continued, “Do you love them? If you do, then you’ll do what’s best for them. That means leaving London. Otherwise…” She sighed and gazed at the flower garden that Elizabeth had created. “The rumors will continue to grow. Robert will have to face a difficult decision. Shall he appear weak and give up his work in Parliament? That will happen if you stay with them.” She grimaced. “If he wants to stay in power and appear to be a force to be reckoned with, then he’ll have to banish Elizabeth. He cannot be labeled a cuckold.” She turned to face him. “Even my friends are whispering he should divorce her and take you to court for criminal conversation.” She shook her head ruefully. “He would never do that. It would ruin him as well as you and Elizabeth.” She turned her unfaltering gaze to his. “You must understand the gravity of the situation. The London-Town Tattler will not quit until you are all ruined.”
What she said was accurate. He didn’t care if he was ruined. But the impact on Robert and Elizabeth was too great a cost. He couldn’t live with the knowledge that he’d caused them such pain. It was becoming clear that he could not stay here.
His world changed at that moment. Everything he valued and loved was turned upside down. Ash couldn’t say a word as his heart slowly cracked into three pieces, one for Robert, one for Elizabeth, and the final one for himself. He should have never returned to London. Once again, everything came back to his biggest mistake.
He should have been the one in bed with Elizabeth. None of them would be facing the crisis that was his creation.
“Lady Moran is expecting me for tea.” Eleanor stood slowly. “It’s a miracle she didn’t disinvite me. We’re to plan a ball that she and her husband are hosting for the end of Parliament.” She extended the coin purse in Ash’s direction.
He stood slowly, feeling as if he were eighty years of age instead of twenty-six. He shook his head. “Please don’t insult us both.”
“Think about what I said.” She nodded curtly, then headed toward the house.
As he watched the wretched woman leave, one sterling truth became apparent. Being in love was not for the weak.
If he thought staying away for a year was close to impossible, then staying away until Robert retired from being an active member of the House of Lords would be forever. But he would do that for them.
If he left for good, how would he explain his actions to Robert and Elizabeth? Both would forsake everything they’d built over the last eight years and return with him. Now returning to Overton Hall for Elizabeth’s health was out of the question. If she returned with him as Robert had suggested, then the rumors would increase ten-fold. Particularly, if Robert left mid-session, then it would appear as if he were chasing Elizabeth and Ash, which would confirm the rumors.
Ash closed his eyes and tilted his head back. A dove overhead was singing a soulful dirge as if it had lost its mate.
He knew exactly how it felt, only worse.
He was losing two mates.
Their dreams had been destroyed once more, and again, Ash was the one left out in the cold.
Chapter Nine
The day after Robert’s conversation with Southart, Elizabeth stormed into his study, clutching a paper in her hand. “Do you know about this?”
