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I rested my head in my hands and sighed. Even though I’d metaphorically gut-punched the man, he was still concerned for my happiness. It was humbling. My fondest wish was that he would find happiness too. It sucked that it wouldn’t be with me, but he was truly a beautiful person.
“Give Abra Cadabra Matchmaking Services one last shot,” he insisted. “You deserve someone to make you smile. I’ve reviewed the profiles carefully and found someone who I believe you would enjoy spending time with. He’s definitely not a convict. Trust me on that. And if he’s not the one, you might find him to be a new friend.”
I groaned. Voila the Immortal Match Guy was putting me into a bad position. If I said no, I’d be a bigger dick than I’d already been. Kurt was offering an olive branch, so to speak. I wasn’t ready at all, but if he would feel better about himself, I could possibly force myself to go… I owed him that much after I’d insulted him so badly.
“The date has been arranged for this evening,” he went on.
I gulped. That was a little quick.
“You’ll meet him on the front patio of Luigi’s on the Upper East Side at eight. I’ve made him aware of your penchant for roses. He’ll be wearing a red rose on the lapel of his jacket. He thought the idea was wonderful.”
Helen started to sniffle. Sniffles led to sobs with my little gal pal. I gently moved her back to the couch for her cry. She’d already ruined it.
Kurt cleared his throat a few more times before he went on. “And wear the rose caftan, Johnson. You looked lovely in it. I’m quite sure your date would agree.”
“I don’t think I can do it,” I whispered frantically to Helen as if Kurt might overhear me. That was ridiculous since it was a recorded message, but I couldn’t help it. I pressed pause to discuss the issue with Helen.
“Are you going to ghost him again?” she whispered back, following my lead.
I blanched. “It’s not technically ghosting Kurt if I don’t show up,” I pointed out. “It’s ghosting someone new… who I’ve never met.”
Helen nodded slowly but wasn’t sure. “But it’s just horrible to think of a nice man wearing a rose in his lapel being stood up at Luigi’s. Makes me sad.”
“Shit,” I muttered. It made me sad too. If it happened to me, I’d be depressed. As much as Kurt clearly wanted to end on a friendly note, his peace offering was giving me gas. “This is awful. I don’t want to date anyone. Ever. It seems like false advertising if I show up.”
“Possibly,” Helen agreed. “But if you’re up front with the rose-wearing man and tell him you’re only looking for friendship, it might be okay. It would definitely preclude him from going home sad and eating six plates of nachos.”
She’d made yet another fine point. I didn’t want to be responsible for a boutonniere-wearing man’s indigestion. Staring at the pile of empty ice cream containers on the coffee table, I made my decision. A pleasant meal with a nice man was an easy thing to do. Helen was right. If I was honest at the get-go, no feelings would be hurt. If he wanted more, he was free to leave and I’d just get takeout. Luigi’s was a fabulous restaurant.
I pressed play on the phone. Even though it hurt, hearing Kurt’s voice made my heart flutter. It was tragic that he was talking about setting me up with a stranger, but it was what it was.
“Don’t ghost him, Johnson,” he said with a small laugh. “He’s expecting you.”
My eyes grew huge and a gasped. “Do you think he just overheard our conversation?”
“That’s impossible,” Helen said, warily examining my phone.
I shook my head to clear it. She was correct. It was impossible. The man knew me and my habits. It was embarrassing, but I’d done it before. I didn’t want to be known for my worst qualities. It wasn’t a good look.
Therefore, I would go. Rose-boutonniere man might not be the one. I didn’t want to find the one. I’d already found him and messed it up good. However, maybe this would lead to better self-esteem. My mother was wrong. There was nothing unnatural or evil about me. I was a terrific wizard with a lot to give. I loved who I loved. The Goddess made me this way. Like Lady Gaga said, baby I was born this way.
It was time for me to own it and not be afraid. I deserved love as much as the next person. I didn’t believe for one moment I’d find it this evening, but it was a start. Even though I’d blown it with Kurt, he still wanted me to be happy. I would honor my feelings for him by trying.
I even did a quick FaceTime with Dwayne and Zorro to make sure I hadn’t lost my mind. They were open-mouthed at the events that had gone down, but all in for me to have a meal with Boutonniere Guy. While Zorro was totally on my side, he was relieved that he hadn’t miscalculated Kurt’s character.
In my defense, I’d spent a lot of my young life dealing with being disappointed by the people I loved and who couldn’t love me back. Still, Kurt wasn’t my awful family, and it would be one of my greatest regrets in life that I had misjudged him so badly.
The boys insisted on coming back up and would be waiting for me at my house after the dinner. Good friends were far better than designer shoes.
“I’m really going to do this,” I said with a half-laugh and a half-groan.
“Yes, you are, Johnson Jones,” Helen announced, grabbing her purse. “Let’s go get manicures and pedicures! My treat.”
“I’m in,” I said, tossing the empty ice cream containers in the garbage and throwing a floral velvet blanket over the bloody couch. When Dwayne and Zorro arrived later tonight, I didn’t want the place to look like someone had been stabbed repeatedly.
“Maybe a little retail therapy too?” Helen suggested with a naughty smile. “Everyone needs a new Prada bag.”
Helen was my kind of vamp. I grinned and pulled her out the front door.
