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I said nothing, just continued up the steps.
“How long do you think you can keep going like this?”
I threw open the office door and tried to close it behind me. Ilya pushed through, not caring that I might wish to be alone. I snarled, “Fuck off, Ilya.”
“No, my friend. I am staying until you see reason.”
“And what reason should I see? That we are more profitable and destroying our enemies at a faster clip, yes? This is what you are complaining about?” I snorted and went to wash my hands.
When I emerged Ilya was still there, waiting for me. I sat behind my desk and ignored him.
“Nikolai,” he said quietly. “Two weeks ago, I was concerned. Last week? Panicked. Today I am terrified.”
“I am no danger to you,” I scoffed.
“I am not scared of you. I am scared for you.” He cocked his head. “In all our years together, I have never seen this. Are you trying to get yourself killed? Is this the only solution to your problem?”
I unlocked my phone and began scrolling through my messages. “Stop worrying so much.”
“You are reckless,” he snapped. “And you will start a war if you are not careful.”
My only thought was, Who cares?
What difference did it make? Theo was gone, back in Paris. Last week I broke down and searched for him online. I found photos of him at a recent event, looking tired but happy. The images were like an arrow through my heart.
I made him sick.
I would never forget his reaction to learning who I was. The memory haunted me.
I still missed him. It was like all the joy had been sucked out of my life.
“For years you complained about our German rivals,” I said. “Now I am dealing with them and you want me to stop. Make up your mind, Ilya.”
“When was the last time you slept?”
I didn’t wish to answer. We both knew I wasn’t sleeping. My mind was a fog of exhaustion, a headache my constant companion.
“Nikolai,” he said softly. “Look at me.”
Taking a deep breath, I met my friend’s gaze. He said, “We have known one another a long time. You are like a brother to me. I would gladly take a bullet for you. But I cannot stand by and watch you destroy yourself.”
I narrowed my gaze. “Are you threatening—”
All of a sudden the building shook, a deafening sound filling my ears. There was no chance to seek cover before I was thrown to the ground by the force of the explosion.
Then everything went black.
Chapter Ten
THEO
“Did you sleep here again?” Sofia, my assistant, set a large cup of coffee on my desk. The lines of her forehead were creased in concern as she studied my rumpled sofa.
Ignoring the question, I frowned at the calendar on my laptop screen. “Why is there a fitting on my morning schedule? I have never heard of this person, and you know I don’t do fittings for random customers anymore.”
“He insisted. And he paid me five thousand Euros to put him on your calendar.”
I lifted a brow at her. “That seems unethical.”
