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I face Finn, teeth gritting together. I didn’t want to see him, not for a little longer still. I don’t have an answer for him, and I’m not sure I’ll have one at least for another few hours, or days, or weeks—but there’s no avoiding this.
He stands as I approach. I stare at his hands, at his chest, up to his lips, and wonder how I ever thought I could avoid this forever. My heart’s racing, my stomach feels sick.
“Dara,” he says, gesturing for me to come closer. “We need to talk.”
“I’m not ready,” I blurt out. “Your little crony was following me around, and I haven’t been able to think.”
“Sorry, love,” he says quietly, steering me so I’m in front of the fountain. I feel the faint spray of the mist against my side. “But you’re out of time. You need to choose.”
“Choose? Right now? I don’t understand.”
He holds onto my hand and drops to one knee.
“What are you doing?” I ask, on the edge of real panic.
He reaches into his pocket and takes out a small ring box.
My eyes go ride. “Finn. Seriously. What are you doing?”
“Dara Connell.” He stares into my eyes as he opens the box. A gorgeous, glittering diamond stares out at me. “Will you marry me?”
Chapter18
Dara
Athousand replies flit through my mind all at once.
I could kick the ring into the water and run. I could scream for help. I could throw myself into his arms, sobbing and begging him to keep me forever. I could do some version of all three, which wouldn’t be very elegant, but still.
But only one reply comes to mind.
“Maybe,” I say.
The surprise on his face feels delicious. “Maybe?” he asks, eyebrows arched.
“Under one condition.” I stare down at him, hands trembling. “You need to swear that no matter what, our baby will be your priority. Girl or boy, no matter who they end up being, you will love them. This might be your only child.”
A sly smile slips onto his face. “I have a feeling we’ll make some more.”
“Finn. I’m not joking.”
“I know you’re not.” He stands, still holding my hands, and takes the ring from the box. “I swear it, Dara. We’re doing this for the child. Whatever happens with us, the baby will be our priority, from here on out.”
I chew the inside of my cheek. Can I really do this? Can I marry this man, this gangster? This man seems the epitome of class and wealth on the outside, but under the surface, violence and danger lurk like predators. I got a hint of it, talking to Shane back there, and other hints before, when he mentioned keeping me safe.
Protecting me implies protecting mefromsomething.
But it isn’t about me anymore. It’s about my child and giving them the best shot at having a life.
I won’t get attached to this man. I won’t let myself end up like my parents—so deeply in love when they were younger, but ground down by life, smashed into pieces by circumstances, and so deeply bitter that everything is tainted, including whatever feelings they might’ve had for each other at one point.
I’ll keep my distance and focus on my baby. Finn doesn’t matter—he’s a means to an end.
“All right, I’ll marry you.”
“I hoped you’d say that.” He slips the ring on my finger. Surprisingly—it fits. “Ah, I really do have a good eye.”
I stare at the diamond. It’s simple, one rock with several smaller stones haloed around it, but the main gem is absolutely gorgeous, glittering in the sunlight, catching and cutting the light, casting it in all directions. It’s dazzling, a good metaphor for Finn himself, but it’s also hard and cold and meaningless.
