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Dr. Bradley, can I get an appointment this afternoon? I know it’s the day before Christmas, but I’m spiraling a little.
Looking out the window, I barely pay attention as Greg pulls into a parking spot in front of a small bakery.
“Lennon, do you want coffee and a pastry?” Greg asks, brow furrowed.
I’m starving, and a pastry won’t cut it. “If there’s anything like a quiche or something, that’ll work. I think I need protein and caffeine, please,” I tell him.
If I’m pregnant, am I allowed to drink caffeine? I got away yesterday with no one noticing that I didn’t drink a margarita, but honestly Ineedcoffee.
Dr. Bradley: Lennon, it must be pretty bad if you’re being so formal. Is six this evening alright?
Chewing on my lip, I check the time and nod to myself. It’s barely nine in the morning, and I’m definitely going to need a shower and a nap.
Perfect, thank you. I’m kind of freaking out, and am having trouble processing things. I’m not in crisis, but I am struggling.
Dr. Bradley: I’ll speak to you then, Lennon.
Taking a deep breath, I already feel better. This woman has quickly become a life line. I have the guys, but she helps me work through all of the big feelings without the worry of upsetting someone with my thoughts.
Exiting out of the portal, I drop the phone into the cup holder. Layla, Uncle Jordan, Atlas, and Mav are coming in early tomorrow morning for Christmas, and they’ll know there’s something wrong if I don’t get a handle on my emotions.
“Lennon,” Tori says as if she’s been holding onto her thoughts for so long that she’s about to explode. “If you could do one thing that would make you feel better, what would it be? Something that you can control.”
She turns to look at me and I pull my hair forward in its long braid. Rubbing my finger over my braid, I sigh. “I’m really fucking tired of this hair color,” I tell her vehemently. “I see my mother every time I look in the mirror, and it makes me want to throw something at my reflection.”
Glancing up when she’s quiet for a bit because I’m worried I scared her, I find she’s typing furiously on her phone. “What color would you change it to?” Tori asks absently as she chews on her bottom lip.
“A dark purple,” I tell her, ready for a change.
Tori nods, glancing up. “I found a salon that can take you December twenty-ninth. Tesa says they’re the best in the area. It’s our treat,” she says with a grin.
Tori can barely sit still, she’s so excited to help me and I nod. “Thank you, that would be amazing,” I tell her sincerely. “Ever since they changed it back, I’ve been itching to fix my hair. If I have to keep staring at it, I may just shave my head.”
“As pretty as I’m sure your head may be,” Tori giggles as she sets the appointment, “I think you’d miss having hair.”
Blowing out a breath as Greg climbs back into the car, I agree. “Greg, I’d be adorable as a little bald rocker, right?” I ask, sputtering with laughter when Tori bursts out laughing.
“God, leaving you two alone was a mistake,” Greg groans, handing out coffee and food.
“Or absolutely brilliant. You’ll just have to wonder forever,” I tease him.
Greg rolls his eyes as he backs out of the parking space. “I know I suggested you two hang out, but now I’m rethinking my life choices,” he says.
Sighing, I take a bite of my quiche. Oddly enough, I’m perfectly happy with my choices at this moment.
* * *
My appointmentwith Evelyn was filled with tears as I holed up in the ‘office,’ curled up in one of my bright, happy chairs.
“Lennon, we don’t know anything concrete yet,” Evelyn reminds me. “What would change if you took a test right now?
Swallowing, I take a breath, blowing my nose with a tissue. “I would know for sure if I’m pregnant, and could decide what to do. I could be freaking out for no reason,” I admit. “But if I am having a baby, they could be a constant reminder of what happened to me at Hidden Hills.”
Evelyn nods, continuing on her logical path. “Your birth control could have failed before you went into Hidden Hills. I’m just saying, don’t make scenarios up in your head that haven’t happened yet. I know tomorrow is Christmas Day, but is there any possibility of testing today?”
I chew on my lip, thinking. “Tori may have pregnancy tests, but there’s so many nosy people over there,” I sigh. “I just told the guys I thought I may be pregnant, I don’t want to tell anyone else.”
“Okay,” Evelyn says carefully, thinking. “You know you don’t have to keep this baby if you’re pregnant, right? This is all hypothetical because we don’t know anything for sure, of course.”
