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His chest rumbles in approval and he licks his lips. I follow the path of his tongue, wishing it was mine instead. “I’ll teach you everything, but I don’t want to scare you. I’ve already hurt you, and—”
“You were playing a role, right?” I ask carefully. “Did you enjoy hurting me?”
I feel as if the entire room is holding its breath as he stares into my eyes. Orion’s breath comes a little quicker as he thinks about it. “I wanted that sick fuck to hurt you less so I did it for him. I paid attention to your heart beat, how scared you were, what he said to you, and when I could tell it was enough, I held the sheet to your face for longer so you’d pass out. I hated every second of it even if I was rock hard for all of it. I don’t know how else to explain it,” he says, his voice defeated and lost.
“Orion,” I say softly when he closes his eyes because it’s too much to look at me. “Hey!” I yell and he opens his eyes. “Do you get hard when you kill people?”
“Yes, but I didn’t want to kill you,” he says, confused.
“It’s the adrenaline that gets you excited, right?” I ask, following an instinct.
“Yeah…” Orion agrees, trailing off.
“There are certain kinks during sex that can mimic what you feel, I think,” I explain and his head tilts in thought.
No one says anything, not even Greg. None of us kink shame, but I want him to understand what he felt wasn’t wrong. Well, not if I had been willing. I don’t think it would be as intense as what he did with me, because even Orion wasn’t comfortable doing it.
But… all the same, I want him to know his reaction isn’t completely abnormal.
“We’re coming back to this conversation another time,” he growls and I smile tentatively.
“So tell me the rest of the plan,” I insist.
Biting his lip, I can tell I’m probably not going to love it. “Bait. We’ll be around to help you at all times, and I really want you armed, Lennon. We are going to dangle you in front of them so we can catch them,” he explains.
I look over at Greg and he sighs, nodding. “Bait is the best way to explain it. Roark and Turner aren’t fans for obvious reasons—”
“I want to be able to live my life without worrying I’ll be kidnapped when my guard is down,” I say, twisting to talk to Ror and Turner. “What if this is the only way to do this?”
Roark grabs my face, kissing me hard, not giving two shits about whose lap I’m in. “I want to be able to track you at all fucking times. I sound like a damn caveman, and I would never ask under other circumstances, but how do you feel about a tracker?”
Well, what’s the saying? Get me to believe three impossible things before breakfast? Of all the kinky things we’ve done, I never thought my fiancé would ask if he could chip me.
11
ROARK
Lennon is looking at me like I’m insane. I know how it sounds, but I can’t lose her ever again. This is the only way I can keep myself from locking her in the house and throwing away the key. She’s not a prisoner, she deserves to live life fully, and I refuse to cage her.
“Lenny, you could disappear again, and I can’t deal with that fear. You need people around you who can function, and…” I trail off because I know how fucked up I sound.
How damn weak.
I glance over at Turner and surprisingly he’s shifting his weight as if he wants to agree. Meeting Lennon’s eyes again, I’m hyper aware of Derek’s intake of breath as if he wants to say something but is holding back.
“You’re too damn important to so many people, little Valkyrie. I want to grow old with you, have babies, and spend the rest of my life with my best friends. I can’t do that if you’re not here.”
Lennon’s eyes fill with tears. “I don’t want to disappear,” she whispers.
I pull her into my arms and Orion lets her go. “I don’t want to suffocate you, Lenny. As soon as you’re feeling more yourself, I know you’ll start to get stir crazy. I just want to know wherever you are, I can follow.”
Lenny chuckles. “I hear what every one of you assholes who are quiet aren’t saying.” Looking over her shoulder, she calls said asshole out. “Turner, you’re biting your tongue awfully hard over there, baby doll.”
He snorts, shrugging. “I won’t pressure you to do something you don’t want to do, but fuck would I feel better. We lost you for almost three damn months. Ror said it way better than I would, he did ask you for forever.”
Frowning, she sighs. “Greg, is this something you can do?”
Lennon glances at him, and he nods. “I’m sorry this is a discussion we even have to have, but Miranda can administer the chip for you. Things may get a little dicey coming up, and I need you to be ready.”
