AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Just fucking with my head.
So please release me.
I need to breathe…
My fingers fly along the keyboard, steady and true. The real world will probably never hear these, so why bother?
My truths all lie here, every heartache, every uncertainty. It’s scary, and a little voice tells me to simply delete it when it’s done. Purge the pain, the inadequacies I feel right now, and the anxiety.
I’m not strong enough to move on. Maybe I’m incapable of being the girl I am now, but if I’m not Lennon O’Reilly, then who am I?
When Orion comes back up an hour later to see how I am. I glance over, clickSelect All, and delete every word. I release a deep breath, because I find that’s what I needed. An all out purge, to pull up the poison and let it go.
I probably will need to do this again, but this helped.
“Greg wants to know if you’re up to a little sparring? I think you’ve napped quite enough, what do you think, Sleeping Beauty?”
I snort, because Derek never did make it back with my chocolate.
“Will there be chocolate if I say yes?” I ask and Orion looks at me quizzically.
“I’m sure there can be,” he chuckles. “I’ll tell Greg you’re up to it. There’s clothes in the bag for you. He said to wear things that wouldn’t snag and you can move in.”
I’ve sparred with Greg a couple of times, and know what he means.
“Okay,” I say, handing the computer to Orion. “I just need someone to come get rid of the IV. I’m pretty sure I have to pee more than any female my size should need to.”
Miranda peeks her head into the room as I say that. “Oh look, I’ve been summoned,” she teases, looking much better than I saw her earlier. “I’ll pull the IV for you, and you can hit the bathroom.”
“Bless you,” I sigh, smiling.
Orion closes up the computer, an eye on me the entire time.
“You didn’t save anything?” he asks, surprised.
I shake my head, wincing a little at the pinch as the needle is removed. “Sometimes, it’s just about writing it all down, and the satisfaction of deleting it,” I explain.
It doesn’t look as if he understands as he leaves the room with Miranda but that’s okay. I get it exactly.
13
ORION
I’m being a stalker, but I don’t care. Lennon O’Reilly both terrifies and enthralls me. She’s in the backyard sparring, and I wince every time this agent (I don’t care enough to remember her name) drops her on her ass.
“Breathe,” Derek murmurs as he kneels on the couch next to me, peeking out the window. It’s like we’re hiding as we watch, but I don’t want her to see us.
So… creepers it is.
“This is so much different from when things were happening to her in the hospital, but I can’t explain why,” I sigh, watching as Lennon listens to the agent.
“It’s because you care more now,” Derek explains simply.
I swallow hard, because that’s exactly why. Holding her while she slept made me connect with her in ways I didn’t think were possible. I’ve held her apart from me for so long, because I’ve been afraid of catching feelings.
For someone who doesn’t understand the full range of emotions, that’s a very scary thought.
“Yeah, I think that’s what it is,” I rasp. “Every time her back hits the mats or she faceplants, I want to kill the person training her.”
