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I exited the same way I’d entered ten minutes earlier. Silent and undetected. I’d been here before so I knew I would survive this. Based on the pain I’d felt when Hayes left me alone two weeks prior, this particular hurt was going to be rough, but pride and not being afraid to be alone would keep me company.
Standing on the sidewalk next to the evidence of rich folks’ toys, I absentmindedly looked left and then right before stepping off of the curb and began walking to the security gate. Maybe this time I would let the security guard call me a cab, reminding him once again not to call me sir.
CHAPTER FIFTY: Hayes
“You’re into me for more than fifty million, Daddy. You’re not getting another dime from me.” I barked. “And you’re damn lucky I don’t call all of your loans in and bankrupt your ass.”
He gripped the edge of the desk and leaned over in an attempt to intimidate me. “You wouldn’t dare,” he said.
“If it weren’t for how much it would destroy momma, you can bet your ass I would; and I’d enjoy it.”
Phillip came to my father’s side. “Who are you, Hayes?” he remarked snottily. “You’re acting like you aren’t aware the markets are volatile and this is your family reaching out for help.”
I pointed to the office door. “First off, Phillip, you’re not family. Second, you have zero respect for me or the ideals of family, and third, get the hell out of my house before I call the police.”
Phillip glared at me, his gaping mouth missing two front teeth when he turned to my father for support.
But I wasn’t finished. “As for you, Daddy. It would seem that Grandpa Stanton had his reasons not to leave you with any of his fortune, and I think I’m finally understanding his reservations. So to honor his astute perceptions, I’m following his lead.”
“You are making a very big mistake, son,” Daddy said.
“Perhaps,” I responded. “But I didn’t earn any of this money on my own and consider myself more of a steward than a beneficiary, so who cares what you think about my decisions?”
“You have gone and lost your damn mind, Hayes,” Phillip stated. “You’re certifiably nuts is what you are.”
I picked up my cell phone and held it toward them. “Your decision now,” I said. “Leave immediately or I call the police.”
The tension in the air was unbearable. My hand holding the phone was shaking and I did my best to pretend I was in control. I stood, locking my knees because of nerves and pointed once again toward the door.
“You have not heard the last of this, Hayes,” Daddy threatened. “I have the legal means to make life very uncomfortable for you.”
“Lawyer up, Daddy, because I will gladly spend every single penny I have to defeat you in court, and we both know my pile is bigger than yours. Go ahead and have your legal team contact mine,” I insisted.
They exchanged worried glances and left the office. Their overpriced Italian loafers tapped their way down my hallway and out the front door.
I exhaled deeply and laid my head on the desk. I knew I was going to hell at that precise moment. Sons of southern business icons don’t normally disrespect their parents the way I just had, but I wasn’t feeling like a son. The leader of my family had tried to have me proven mentally unfit so he could control and manage my money. And to add insult to insult, I think my boyfriend at the time was in on the betrayal.
The stress made me ill and I felt like I could throw up from the overwhelming sense of doom crashing in on me. I knew that I was out of my depth, but I needed to defend myself from those who did not have my best interest at heart.
Adding to that, I felt like a truly mean person; like one who would turn his back on those closest to him. The look wasn’t a good reflection of who I thought I was. My return to Charleston had quickly evolved into mayhem hurtling me right back into the unattractive life I had led prior to meeting Bo.
“Oh, shit! Bo,” I muttered, suddenly remembering I’d asked him to leave. “Shit! Shit! Shit!” I yelled, running around my desk and down the hall to the bottom of the steps.
“Bo?” I yelled. Silence. “Bo? Where are you?” No sounds but the ticking of a wall clock in the hall.
I hurried to the kitchen hoping he was refueling after his run. I pushed through the swinging door near the pantry. The kitchen was empty so I ran upstairs to our bedroom, sprinting and practically fainting as I took them two at a time. “Bo?” I questioned in a hesitant voice, reality settling in. “Bo?” I whispered when I walked into the bathroom.
The room was quiet and I automatically looked at the crystal glass on the sink where we kept our two blue toothbrushes, his dark blue, mine light blue. There was one. Mine. I turned and slowly walked to the closet where his old Adidas duffle bag was stored on the top shelf. I recollected when he’d placed his one pair of jeans and three T-shirts on a shelf below, looking at me in embarrassment. I knew he felt less than in that moment and I did my best to reassure him that I didn’t love him for his huge wardrobe. We’d laughed and he held me close and thanked me because I was always so considerate about how he felt concerning his self-worth.
Bo had patiently given my lifestyle a chance and I’d done absolutely nothing to make him feel supported and appreciated in the two weeks he’d been in Charleston. After a week of him being alone all day, he’d asked me to take a day off and show him around my city, but I told him I was too busy. He’d tried to negotiate a half day for a hike or a swim. Once again, I was too busy. When had he stopped asking? I couldn’t remember what he said he’d done while I worked the past week. Not a single inquiry from me. Not a moment of interest in his life except to insist we go to my mother’s garden party, and what a bad experience that must have been for Bo.
I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at my cell phone. Twenty two missed calls and not one from Bo. No texts either. He’d left without telling me and there was no one to blame but myself. I lifted my feet off of the floor and curled into a ball on the bed. The pain of what I had done sank into my mind and then the feeling of regret washed over me like the familiar blanket I’d always lived in as an adult. I knew what I wanted from love but I couldn’t play a healthy part in a relationship. At least not while on my home turf. There were too many distractions and not enough love from me to nurture the person who’d had my back.
I’d allowed Phillip to set the rules during our ten years and willingly followed him down a path of the lie we built. I thought I’d loved Phillip becausebeing in loveandbeing with himwas what I felt was required to count yourself as one of the rare few who have long-term relationships. We hadn’t even had a visible relationship, let alone a loving one.
And then I’d met a wonderful man by pure chance and he was all about loving me, supporting me, and laying the foundation for our future, but I wasn’t available. When my fervent wish for true love was realized and then Bo had expressed his feelings for me by standing by my side and defending me, I let business and obligations pull me under. Phillip hadn’t been the real problem after all. My life with Phillip had been convenient for both of us because I could sleepwalk through our phony coupling while he lied that we even existed. I’d been phoning my participation in for years and then look what happened when love required work on my part.
As I wept over my mistakes and worried about second chances, I realized I’d fooled myself into thinking I wanted everything that a perfect marriage had to offer, when in fact, I hadn’t actually worked a single day to make it happen. The failures weren’t just Phillip and Bo, they were me.
