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He liked to order me around. Perhaps if I were a stronger woman who had a backbone, I would stand up to him. See how he liked being told no. But I’d been beaten down long before I met Huck Kingston.
Standing, I walked over and picked up the few things that I could call mine, then turned to look at him. He was scowling, as if being down here this close to me was his own form of punishment. I wished I didn’t care. Perhaps it was the way he frowned or the way his eyes were set in his head. It reminded me of Hayes. The only person in my life to not see my faults. The only male to ever make me feel special.
“Is that it?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Follow me.”
He turned and started toward the steps. Was I being moved to a room now so I could cook and clean, or was I being sent home to possibly be murdered? At least I wasn’t being left locked up in his basement. If he sent me away, I might possibly survive long enough to leave the state, change my appearance, but then all of that took money. I wasn’t sure my car could get me that far at the moment.
Panic slowly began to trickle in, and I focused on my breathing as I followed Huck up the stairs. Either option was terrifying.
No … no … stop!I wasn’t going to fall apart in front of this man. If I didn’t live to see another sunrise, then so be it. But I would not let this man see me crack. He wouldn’t get the satisfaction.
At the top of the stairs, he turned left, and I followed him. We turned to go up another flight of stairs. That was my answer. I was to stay and be the housekeeper and cook. The panic clawing at my chest eased some.
The new set of stairs was impressive, wide and curved. A chandelier hung overhead, and I realized I’d never seen this part of the house. It was open with windows and light pouring in everywhere. This wouldn’t be bad. I could do this.
Huck stopped at the top of the stairs, then barely glanced back at me before pointing toward the wide hallway. “The third door on your right. You’ll stay there. We will expect breakfast at seven thirty every morning, we aren’t here for lunch, and you’ll be notified if we will require dinner. Keep a list of items you need from the grocery store, and that will be handled. Every room needs to be thoroughly cleaned each week. The rooms that are occupied, you will straighten and clean daily. Don’t leave the house without permission. You can’t be without protection.” Huck spoke as if this were something we’d already discussed.
When I said nothing and only nodded, he glared at me.
“If you don’t want to die, you’ll refrain from stealing shit,” he snapped. “Do your job and stay out of the way otherwise.”
I wasn’t a thief, but explaining what he’d seen on my background check wasn’t something he wanted. He believed what he wanted to about me. Most people did. I wasn’t going to lose sleep over that.
I managed a nod, took my things, and walked past him toward the third door on the right. For now, I was safe, out of the dungeon, and no one was going to starve me or force me to vomit. This wasn’t living free, but it was living. I would just be thankful for that.
Nine
Ten Months Ago
Hayes’s hand held mine tightly as we left my father’s gravesite. Everyone else had already gone. Including Tabitha. I hadn’t been able to move from that spot, looking down where they had lowered his casket into the ground. It was so strange that my heart ached like it did.
Not once in my life had I felt like my father loved me. He was never my safe place. I’d never had a safe place. Yet, now, we would never get that chance to have a relationship. There would be no apologies. We wouldn’t hug each other and sayI love you. Knowing that left a hole in my heart. He was the only parent I had ever known, and he hadn’t loved me.
Growing up with that knowledge had twisted and shaped me into the person I was today. If your own parent couldn’t love you, then could anyone?
I hadn’t had boyfriends when I was in high school. Tabitha didn’t allow me to go anywhere but to school and home. When a boy showed interest and dared to call our house, I was punished. Eventually, I did everything I could to be invisible wherever I went. The baggy, unattractive clothing Tabitha had supplied for me helped me fade into the background. There was no young love, first love, nothing of the sort. By the time I was out of the house, I’d grown accustomed to being alone. I never managed to form any relationships.
Truly being loved was a foreign thing to me. Hayes hadn’t said he loved me, but he showed me more compassion and understanding than anyone in my life. He was the only person to put in the energy to get down my walls. He was patient and kind, yet I knew I wasn’t in love with him. I’d read books and heard other girls talk. Hayes didn’t cause butterflies in my stomach or make my heart race. Don’t get me wrong; I did love him. I would do anything for him. He gave and thought about others, never once worrying about what he wanted. I loved him in a way I had never loved anyone. I could trust him. He’d become my best friend—my only real friend.
“Where would you like to go?” he asked me as we reached his car.
I shrugged. I had no idea. Tabitha hadn’t kicked me out yet, but my father had only been dead for five days. There was a good chance I would find my bags waiting on the front porch when I got home. Sure, she had been nicer since Hayes had begun taking me out and giving me attention. However, I doubted she would want to keep me in the house that my father had left solely to her.
“Okay, let me ask this another way. Do you want to go watch back-to-back movies at the theater until we are so full of popcorn that we are sick, or do you want to head to the beach and watch the waves in silence until it’s too dark to see them?”
How could you not love someone like that? Hayes was the perfect human, and although I had tried to tell him I wasn’t good, he’d refused to listen to me. We did not belong together, and deep down, I was sure he knew it too. If he didn’t, he would figure it out. My chest ached at the thought of not having him. With Hayes, I didn’t feel alone anymore.
“Beach,” I said.
“We’ll stop and buy unhealthy snacks and eat those,” he replied.
My lips curled into a smile as he opened the car door for me. Turning to him, I placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him. I’d never kissed anyone. Not even a relative on the cheek. But I was too emotionally wrung out to find the right words. I owed him so much. I wasn’t sure I could have survived this had he not stood by my side the entire time.
Hayes’s left hand touched my waist, and he returned the kiss. It wasn’t passionate, and no new feelings emerged within me as I slipped my tongue inside his mouth. This was safe. It was comfortable. I enjoyed the connection with another person. Perhaps I should have tried this sooner with other guys. It was pleasant, and although it wasn’t true affection, it stood in for the emptiness. I could pretend it was more.
