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There was no rancor or resentment in his words. He was content to let her lead in this, for now. It was the Christian who easily gave others the spotlight when it was demanded. Without tripping over his own ego like so many powerful men she knew. “Yeah?” Priya said, noting his gaze take her in from head to toe.
“What do you get out of all this? What about your needs?”
“My needs are secondary to yours and Jayden’s right now,” she said, sudden tears in her throat.
“I don’t—”
“Except maybe I can feel less guilty about one thing.”
“About what?”
“About going on a date, like I did today. Now that you’re here, I don’t have to worry about Mama finding out about—”
He was on her then—all six feet three inches of him—before she could blink. Priya felt like the time she’d taken Jai to a zoo and they’d watched a group of teenagers make faces at a tiger. Here the cage was invisible, self-imposed by Christian, but still...if it broke through...
“No. No more dates for you. Not unless you want me to descend into insanity imagining you with another man...” A growl erupted from him, drenching her skin in goose bumps.
She raised a brow, loving the possessive edge in his voice. “But I have...needs that have to be met,” she said innocently. Hand on his chest, she fluttered her lashes at him. “Unless you’re offering to see to them?”
He pushed into her touch. His erection was a brand against her belly, singeing her where she stood. “I won’t play nice anymore. I will swallow you whole.”
She wished she hadn’t been a naive, prudish fool that weekend in the Alps. That she’d met him as an equal. Then maybe he wouldn’t have turned away from her afterward.
“And how do you know my tastes haven’t changed? Maybe I like being devoured by an intense, sexy lumberjack who gets me all hot and bothered with one look.”
She laughed when he rolled his eyes at her, and kissed his cheek one last time, the effort of pulling away from him taking every ounce of energy she had. “Good night, Christian,” she said, and went to bed with the image of him looking at that old photo she’d once clicked of him and Jai.
CHAPTER SIX
CHRISTIANHADN’TBEENable to even imagine what or how he’d feel until a little boy whose head barely reached his thigh looked up at him out of a pair of thoughtful brown eyes. His heart jumped into his throat, cutting off his ability to form words. Nothing in all the misery and darkness he’d lived through had prepared him for this moment.
It had ended up being two more days before his grandfather and Priya’s parents returned with Jayden. Two days that he’d spent in the guesthouse where he’d used to hang out with Jai and his friends during high school.
Then, he’d wanted to escape all the restrictions Ben had tried to place on him.
Now, he didn’t know what he was running away from—himself or this new life. He’d even asked Priya not to tell anyone other than her parents, Ben and the estate employees that he was back.
If Priya thought it strange that he wasn’t staying in any of the guest bedrooms, she didn’t mention it. In fact, she’d mostly left him to his own devices after that first night, poking her head in only once in the evening to inquire if he needed anything. If he thought the silence in the guesthouse would provide him with a measure of peace, he was wrong. He felt just as unsettled here as he did in the house but at least she wasn’t there to witness it.
Christian knew he was being a selfish beast, but he couldn’t help himself. After such a long stretch of having no one and nothing in his head, that first evening had been intense. He needed to recover from it and since he barely slept these days, it meant working out most of his excess energy by running around the trails on the estate. He’d also shooed away the gardeners and gotten his hands dirty with the seasonal chopping and culling that the woods required.
His grandfather’s estate—his now and Jayden’s in the future—was full of untamed woodland from natural preservation areas to three ponds and it felt like the only time he could breathe was when he was out there.
The last thing he needed was for Priya to know how little he slept. Or how he was still struggling to get through most days without enough sleep and with too many headaches.
And now, here was his son.
Darker than him in coloring and lighter than Priya, Jayden had his mother’s serious brown eyes and the straight little nose but his smile... It was full of mischief. Like his own had been once.
Jayden had run out into the backyard, where he’d been waiting, on tenterhooks. Within a few minutes of Priya talking to him after they’d arrived, Christian went to his knees on the grass.
He’d been so nervous, his skin so clammy, that he’d asked if they should wait for one more day. Wait until maybe Jayden got over his jet lag. If Priya had seen him fudging for his own sake, thankfully, she’d kept quiet.
Now, his son stared at Christian with a thoughtfulness that felt beyond his age.
“You’re not dead.”
“No,” Christian replied, his throat full of emotion.
