AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yes,” he added, realizing now what she’d meant about sometimes being lonely and overwhelmed as a single parent. And yet, she’d done such a fantastic job. Notwithstanding today’s episode, Jayden was usually a happy, well-adjusted child.
She ran her hand over Jayden’s forehead, pushing away the silky light brown hair. Sitting still, Christian felt jealousy skewer through him at the open affection in the gesture, at the overpowering emotion in her eyes as she looked down at their son. It was only an echo of an old desire, a remnant of his past need, he told himself. Once, he’d wanted her to look at him like that.
Not anymore. Not now, he repeated like a mantra. He was happy with what he had now. With what they were. There was a certain peace in accepting that.
“I have no more answers than you do, Christian. Although if you’d like, I can make an educated guess.”
“Guess, then,” he growled, channeling some of the brooding energy that Jayden had been showing all day.
Her mouth twitched and again, his body did the same in his trousers.
She sighed and said, “You’re not going to like it.”
“Try me anyway.”
She turned to face him. “He was fine when I left for work this morning. In fact, he was super excited about skipping school and going off on some treasure hunt in the Caribbean with his dad. He wouldn’t stop going on and on about pirates. Good job on that.”
If his chest puffed out anymore, it would rip through his shirt, like in one of Jayden’s action hero movies. Priya’s praise had always mattered to him but in the matter of parenthood, it made him feel ten feet tall. “All I’m hearing is you say what a wonderful dad I am,” he said, running his fingers up over her shapely calf.
“Have patience, Christian. I’m feeling my way through this.”
He remained silent.
“From what I gather from Mama, Bastien visited you this morning.”
Christian grunted.
“You both closed yourselves off in your study for almost three hours. And when Bastien walked out, he had a bloody nose.” She sighed again. This sound was so exaggerated that Christian smiled, his brooding mood falling off him like water off a rock. As if she had to contend with not one but two boys with no impulse control. “My guess is that Jayden saw Bastien walk out of the house. For all I want to tar Bastien with a mustache-twirling villain’s brush, he’s always been good to Jayden. I think seeing you and Bastien fall out upset him. And then when he asked you about what happened, you told him it was none of his business.”
Christian put her feet back on the floor and got up to pace around the cabin. “I never said it like that.”
“I’m not blaming you. I told you Jayden’s extra sensitive.” When he’d have interrupted her again, defensively no less, she stood up and walked toward him and stopped his pacing by placing her palm on his chest. His heart kicked hard in there, as if it wanted to reach out to her. “I don’t mean that his feelings get hurt by everything. But he knew something was bothering you—you’ve been like a wounded dog since this morning, admit it, Christian. And when he tried to find out why, you promptly shut him down.”
“He’s just a boy. I don’t want to fill his head with tales of irritating, spiteful cousins.”
“But since your return, you’ve been astonishingly honest with him. About your headaches, your mental health... And you’ve settled into a dynamic together, one of growing closeness. Today, he thinks he’s done something to upset you, to change that dialogue.”
“That’s convoluted.”
“He’s a boy who can’t process all the things he’s feeling. Just like his dad.”
“You’ve been waiting to throw that in, haven’t you?” he said, wondering at how easily they fell into this routine of worrying over their child.
A smile split her mouth. “Like I said, we’re all having to make a lot of adjustments and we’re all struggling in one way or another.”
“What are you struggling with?” he asked with a frown.
She didn’t deny it and he felt overwhelming relief that he’d gotten that right at least. “I’ll tell you but not just yet.”
Christian covered her hand with his, trapping it against his chest. He loved touching her. And not just sexually. “What do you suggest I do to fix this with Jayden?”
“Tell him some version of what happened between Bastien and you. Also, in future, show him by example that we don’t solve our problems or disagreements—” she pulled her hand away and traced the punctured skin over his knuckles with her fingers “—with our fists. If not, be prepared for a host of complaints about your son and school fights.”
“Bastien deserved it. It’s better Jayden learns that bullies never change.”
“Christian, I...”
“After losing so much for so long, I thought I’d be all Zen about everyone and everything. That I’d appreciate all the things I do have and remember when I didn’t. But not that worm. I can’t forgive him for what he put you through for eight years. I can barely forgive myself. Why didn’t you tell me how badly he behaved?”
