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Her oldest brother squeezed her shoulders until she fell into his arms. “You don’t owe me anything, Anya. I know I’m pushy and arrogant sometimes, but I’ve always only wanted the best for you and that sweet baby. You were so fragile when you were carrying her, and that was before you lost so much blood after the delivery...all I wanted was to protect you as much as the baby.”
She looked up and the awful guilt in his eyes, perversely, made her stiffen her spine. “I didn’t understand for a long time how much was on your shoulders back then, bhai. You were trying to dig our finances out of a hole by revitalizing the Raawal House of Cinema, and at the same time trying to get Mama and Papa to behave and keeping Virat out of trouble. And through it all, you looked out for me. You looked out for that baby girl when I couldn’t, when no one else would.”
She wiped her tears and smiled. “And now...have you seen what a beautiful, brave, talented girl she’s grown into? Have you seen what a wonder she is?”
When he nodded and smiled through his tears, Anya went up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry that I never thanked you. For myself or for finding such a loving family for her. So I’ll say it now, bhai. Thank you for looking out for me. Thank you for looking out for my baby. I was not ready in shape or form to be a mother.” Anya swallowed the lump of grief in her throat. “You made a hard decision and you became my villain. But you never wavered. I can’t thank you enough for that.”
Tears in his own eyes, her brother wrapped those long arms around her. There was no need for words as they stood like that for countless minutes.
Anya sighed, feeling as if another wound that had festered for so long had finally begun to heal.
Feeling as if the past had loosened another painful claw from her present.
Feeling free and whole and light for the first time in years.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“I’MSORRYYOUwere pulled into all that family drama,” Anya added, feeling awkward in the suddenly empty suite. Her brothers and their wives had left and for the first time in...forever, Anya felt as if she were a new person. A different person.
In a way, she felt relieved that they all knew. They knew what Meera was to her. And they knew that, whatever the future held for her, Anya could look after herself. For the first time in years, she’d come out of her shell and she was taking up space in her own life.
And they knew that Simon cared about her.
She wasn’t going to delude herself that it was anything romantic or even close to love, but the fact was that he cared about her. Just as she did about him. And she held that knowledge close to her heart like a lick of flame giving out constant warmth in even the darkest patches of night.
“I wish I could say I don’t understand where they’re coming from. But I do.” Simon rubbed a hand over his face. “I know how it feels to see a loved one suffering and be powerless to help. How...it eats away at you. How it makes you seem harsh and unyielding when all you’re doing is trying to help.”
The little glimpse into his past sent a shock through Anya. She wanted to know everything about him—about this man who had a great capacity to love, clearly, but didn’t want to.
“Simon, what are you talking about?”
His gaze was distant. “Rani... I didn’t always give her what she wanted. And she resented me for it.”
“How...how do you mean?”
“Let’s just say I let her down. Especially when she needed me.”
His revelation startled Anya. From everything Meera said, she’d assumed his marriage had been perfect, his wife a paragon of perfection she could never compete with. And yet, he sounded as if he blamed himself for Rani’s unhappiness. How? Why?
Curiosity gnawed at Anya, but she was loath to intrude. Especially after her family had just done so in such a spectacular fashion. “I can’t believe that you would ever have hurt her, Simon. What did you refuse her?” When his jaw locked tight, Anya tried to pick up the thread of their conversation. “I...never realized how hard it must have been for bhai back then. How heavily it weighed on him that he couldn’t do more for me,” she said, pointing her shoulder at the closed door behind her.
“You weren’t much more than a child yourself,” he said gently. “I can understand Vikram’s helplessness even better now. His need to hover around you.” He handed her a bottle of water and she took it gratefully. “You look tired.”
She felt her gaze on her face as she tipped it up and drank it in one long gulp. “I was working straight for three full days. That might have triggered the panic partly too.”
“Does it happen a lot?”
“Not frequently anymore. I haven’t had an episode since the night I discovered who Meera is and before that it was some years ago.”
“But it happened a lot after you...gave her up?”
Anya nodded, squeezing the bottle of water in her hands. “Before too.”
She didn’t like thinking about that period of her life at all. It was like a nightmare waiting to sink its claws into her again. But she wanted to share it with Simon. She wanted to put it to rest finally.
“I was sixteen when I met...him. We used to meet in secret. I badly needed an escape and he provided it. Outwardly, my family was the uncrowned royalty of the industry. But it was all hollow inside. My dad’s gambling habits and Mama’s three gigantic investments into reviving her career meant we were close to being bankrupt. They’d already ruined Vikram and Virat’s childhoods with their constant public breakups and reunions. And Vikram...he was trying to hold it all together, trying to keep Virat from running away. My grandmother did her best to look after me. And this man...he gave me sweet words and false promises.”
Simon’s fingers rested on her wrist, as if to keep the ache of it at bay.
