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“Enough digressing, though. You’re not okay. What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Just another terrible date, that’s all,” I tell him. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
“You whipped out ol’ Jensen’s whiskey, Maeve. It’s clearly something serious,” he replies. And he’s right. But it’s not in my nature to complain about these things. It’s not like he can do something about my inability to keep a guy for more than a couple of hours.
I take a deep breath and another sip of whiskey. “I feel like I’m not good enough to be out there, dating, that’s all. I’ve spent so much time studying and working and taking care of Kyle that I have literally neglected myself. I’m a woman and I don’t even know how to act like one.”
“Ah, I see,” Noah says, nodding slightly. There’s barely any space left between us at this point. I feel his shoulder gently pressed against mine but I can’t bring myself to move. I wouldn’t want him to stop or to pull away. His warmth pours through me and it feels too good. “It’s complicated and I get why you feel the way you do, Maeve. It’s not weird, though, and it’s not wrong, either. Considering what you went through over the years, it’s actually natural and understandable. Think about it.”
“Think about what, specifically? That I sacrificed my entire personal life for everything and everybody else, and now I can’t even date a guy without him cutting it short on account of a fictional emergency?” I scoff.
“You lost your mother when you were just seven years old. You had a baby brother to raise. A father who tried his best but couldn’t meet your needs on his own. And then he died, too, and you had to become Kyle’s legal guardian so he wouldn’t go into the foster system precisely when he needed a family the most. And you had your own future to focus on. Your career. Your goals. Dating and meeting someone and being with someone simply didn’t fit into your busy schedule because that was the hand you were dealt, Maeve. It doesn’t mean it’s over for you. If anything, you’re only just getting started.”
“Noah, I’m almost twenty-nine years old and I’ve never even been kissed.”
Well, that came out before I filtered it. He stills, the green pools of his eyes softening and gradually darkening into something downright incomprehensible. My skin tingles all over as his lips part, ever so slowly. “You’ve never been kissed?”
“Nope.”
“We do need to address that. It’s a problem.”
My temperature is spiking and I’m pretty sure it’s not because of the whiskey. What’s going on here? I’ve never seen this side of Noah before. I feel as though I’m sitting next to a panther that’s about to pounce on me, yet all I know is that I’m looking forward to feeling his fangs as he sinks them into my flesh. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle as he leans closer. I feel his breath on my lips, and I don’t know what to do. I’m paralyzed and yearning.
“I should’ve kissed you that night at the senior prom,” he whispers. I can almost feel his lips brushing mine, ever so subtly. Heat gathers in my core as I hold my breath. “I figured you were too young, and I was just happy to be there with you. Remember?”
I nod slowly. He smells of wild musk and leather and just a hint of sandalwood. “No one invited me,” I manage. “So you stepped up and made sure I didn’t stay home that night.” I’ve been crushing hard on him ever since.
“That’s right. I had no idea you’d never kissed anyone, I’m surprised.”
“Surprised?”
“A gorgeous woman like you, Maeve? You’d break a thousand hearts with one snap of your fingers if you set your mind to it. I know you’ve got it in you. I can almost…” he comes even closer, practically invading my very soul as his cheek touches mine. “…smell it on you.”
I shudder, liquid heat expanding between my legs. I keep my knees tightly together as I struggle to sit upright, fearful that I might scare him away. Turns out I have that effect on men as of late. Just one more second, and he could kiss me. I’m dying for him to kiss me, to make me unravel in all sorts of ways.
Just then, Nala, my brother’s golden retriever, decides to break it up as she swoops in through the back doggy door and rushes over, a huge smile on her face and a wagging tail letting us both know that she’s here for all the cuddles and attention that we have to give.
“Nala, you lazy princess,” I mutter as I scratch her floppy ears.
Noah laughs and strokes her back as she sits between us on the porch. “She was sleeping upstairs in Kyle’s bed again, huh?” he asks me. The darkness in his eyes still lingers, but the twinkles of joy in Nala’s presence soften the shadows. The moment is gone. For now.
I nod. “She does that whenever he’s due to come home for the weekend. I didn’t know dogs had a specific track of time but it’s like she’s counting the days or something,” I tell him.
“Maybe she is actually counting the days in her own way. We don’t give dogs enough credit.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t hold my breath considering she still runs in circles just to catch her own tail.”
We both laugh as the sound of the front door opening and closing prompts Nala to bark and rush back into the house. Noah and I follow, hearing several familiar voices. Kyle is home after spending a week in Grand Rapids where his team, the Lansing Devils, practice. As soon as we reach the living room, I find myself heating up again, this time at the sight of Jack, Kyle’s coach, and Alex, his teammate. They’re both different but each devastatingly handsome and attractive in their own way. And the way they light up when they see me is something I’ll never get enough of.
“Hey, Sis!” Kyle exclaims, then throws his arms around me.
He’s tired and sweaty and wearing the baggiest training suit he could find, but I’m always happy to see him. It seems like only yesterday that I was fixing his mac and cheese dinner and monitoring his homework while Dad drank his sorrow away in the den.
“You’re home early,” I tell him. “I wasn’t expecting you til later.”
“I could say the same thing about you!” he says. “Weren’t you supposed to be on a date? Wait, what’s with the whiskey? What happened?”
His good humor fades as he measures me from head to toe, but I feel like a deer caught in the headlights and I’ve already told Noah enough about my situation. I don’t want Alex and Jack dragged into this, too. “It’s cool, it’s nothing. He wasn’t that into me, I wasn’t that into him. These things happen,” I try to brush it off.
