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And I knew it was my own insecurities and doubt that kept me from coming clean.
For good reason. What if Albin finds out where you live, and he tries to reach out again? What if he sees Jimmy and connects the dots?
Since we were going to be working together, a part of me wondered if it would be better to come clean to Albin and let the chips fall where they may. The other part of me was terrified of what would happen if things went sideways. Over the past five years, it was Jimmy who had gotten me through every low and helped me celebrate every high. Without him, my life would be empty and purposeless, and I would spend my days flitting from one job to the next.
Albin wouldn’t be so cruel as to take him away from me.
Would he?
“Alright, I’ve got to go because we’ve got an emergency at work,” Anne announced in a loud voice. “Call me later?”
I nodded and poured hot water into the coffee mug. “Sure. Good luck with the emergency.”
Once the door clicked shut behind her, I lifted the mug to my lips and sighed. Then Jimmy was standing in front of me, hugging my leg. He tilted his head back to look up at me, his dark eyes studying me intently, and a lump rose in my throat. Jimmy had no idea just how much he looked like his father, and I couldn’t ignore the guilt churning in my stomach.
Regardless of how I felt about Albin, Jimmy deserved a chance to get to know him.
“Mommy, do you want to come and color with me?”
I patted Jimmy’s head and took a few sips of my coffee. “Maybe later, sweetheart.”
“You look sad, mommy,” Jimmy said with a frown. “Don’t be sad.”
I ruffled Jimmy’s hair and blew out a breath. “I’ll try. Why don’t you go and play in the living room, honey?”
Jimmy drew back and stared at me. “Can I watch a movie?”
“One movie,” I agreed before setting my mug down. “But you have to clean up your toys before we start.”
Jimmy nodded and took off, a blur of colors and activity as he moved from one end of the living room to the next. While he tidied up, I watched him, growing more and more uncertain with each passing minute. I had done everything within my power to provide Jimmy with a good life, the kind I never had growing up, but a part of me knew that I couldn’t fulfill every need for him.
Since he could talk, Jimmy had wondered about his father, and I finally had a chance to tell him more. Taking the opportunity away from him would be too cruel. When Jimmy was done, I ushered him onto the couch, tucked him in, and switched on the TV. I stood at the kitchen counter, staring at Anne’s name on my screen before I dialed.
She picked up on the second ring. “Finally, I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to call you myself. What really happened last night?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “My boss is…he’s got certain ideas about how I should behave and the kind of gratitude I should be expressing over him hiring me.”
Anne made a low noise in the back of her throat. “Mar, I’m sorry. That’s awful. What are you going to do?”
“Nothing for now. I need the job.”
“We’ll figure something out.”
I glanced at the top of Jimmy’s head and frowned. “I saw Jimmy’s father yesterday.”
“What?”
“He’s the investor we were supposed to meet.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. I don’t know if I should tell him about Jimmy.”
“Of course, you should. Mar, you’ve always wondered what would happen if the two of you had met under the right circumstances. This is your chance to find out. He’s here, and you’re here. Fate is giving you a second chance.”
“What if he hurts Jimmy?”
“What if he’s the kind of father that Jimmy deserves? And what if he’s the man you thought he was? You need to stop trying to focus on what could go wrong and try to think of all the ways this could work out.”
