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“I’m not upset about it,” I whispered into the phone. “But Albin is. God, Anne, you should’ve seen his expression when I turned him down. It’s been days since he asked us to come over. I don’t think he’s going to ask again.”
And I hadn’t been able to get his crestfallen expression out of my head.
Nor was I able to shake off the feeling that I’d done something wrong.
Even when I knew it was the right thing to do.
Anne sighed. “I don’t see the harm in changing your mind.”
I glanced over my shoulders at them, seated at a booth close to the kids’ area. Jimmy and Albin sat side by side, peering down at the coloring paper, crayons scattered in front of them. Now and again, when Jimmy glanced over at me, my stomach gave an odd little dip, and I offered him a small smile in return.
He and Albin were getting along a lot better than I expected.
It was almost impossible to tell Albin hadn’t been in Jimmy’s life all along, and while it was a little unnerving to see how alike they really were, it was also a relief to see how seamless the transition could be. In the meantime, I had to figure out a way to break the news to Jimmy without having it turn into a scene.
Although Jimmy was too young to understand the reasons why I hadn’t come clean, I prayed someday he would. Meanwhile, there was no reason he couldn’t enjoy getting to know Albin without the added pressure of knowing who he really was. I, on the other hand, needed to establish clear and firm boundaries with Albin, ensuring the two of us didn’t fall back into old habits.
Considering what was at stake, I could not fall back into bed with him.
Not if I could help it.
“Are you even listening to me?”
I blinked and swung my gaze back to the blue-colored wall in front of me. “Sorry, can you say that again?”
“I asked how it was going with the new landlord. You know it’s not too late to move back in with me.”
“I already paid a deposit, and I’ll be moving out the last of my things tomorrow.”
“You haven’t told Albin, have you?”
“Why would I tell him that I’m having problems with the landlord? It’s not his business.”
“Mar, if he’s going to be in your life, he needs to know these things.”
“He’s meant to be in Jimmy’s life,” I argued in a low voice. “Not mine, and if he finds out, I have the feeling he’s just going to try to use money to solve the problem.”
Like he did when Mr. Banks was trying to take advantage of me.
I knew Albin meant well, but I knew how to fend for myself and my son. The last thing I wanted was to be indebted to him while we were trying to navigate unfamiliar terrain. As far as I was concerned, all Albin needed to be focused on was building a relationship with his son. Everything else was secondary and could wait.
“He’s a good man, Mar,” Anne pointed out with another sigh. “You should go easier on him.”
“I already am,” I replied, frowning when someone jostled past me and through the bathroom door a few feet away. “Anyway, I’d better go. I’m sure the food will be there soon.”
“Have fun,” Anne responded. “I’ll see you soon, babe.”
With that, she hung up, and I pulled the phone away from my ear. I spun around and scanned the blue and white walls around me, with a slew of booths scattered throughout and shrieking kids in every direction. I wasn’t surprised that Jimmy had chosen a pizza place for dinner, but I was impressed that Albin was willing to go along with it.
He looked out of his place in his designer jeans and button-down shirt, especially with the slew of parents propped up against the booths in wrinkled and stained clothing. A few of them threw curious glances his way, but he paid them no attention. Instead, Albin completely focused on helping Jimmy create the perfect picture. I took a step towards them and paused when my phone buzzed.
When I saw my landlord’s name flash across the screen, I answered.
A moment later, the call ended. When I tried him again, it went straight to voicemail.
I hesitated before tucking my phone back into my pocket and wandering over to the booth. As soon as I sat down, the two of them glanced up at me, wearing identical expressions of impatience and excitement. I gave them a small smile in return and tried to ignore the knots forming in the pit of my stomach. Against Anne’s advice, I had been adamant about moving out and striking out on my own. I had only been in the new apartment for a week, and it was already rife with problems.
But I didn’t want to keep bothering Anne with them.
