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Albin and I had gone through everything to end up on the other side, and I couldn’t wait for him to get down on his knee and ask me to be his wife. Despite my best attempts to push it to the back of my mind, I had spent too many waking moments fantasizing and dreaming about what it would be like to be with him officially.
To have his ring on my finger.
I couldn’t deny the thrill that raced through me at the thought.
I was hopelessly, deeply, and irrevocably in love with Albin.
Sighing, I stopped outside Jimmy’s room and adopted a more serious expression. When the door creaked open, Jimmy sat up in bed, his hair in tufts on top of his head and a dazed expression on his face. He glanced over at me and rubbed his eyes. Then he jumped off the bed, threw off the covers, and raced into the bathroom.
“Good morning to you, too,” I called out to his retreating back. “Did you sleep okay, sweetheart?”
Jimmy was gurgling mouthwash. “I dreamt I was a superhero, mommy. And I was flying over the city with you and daddy.”
I sat up straighter and linked my fingers together. “Daddy?”
Jimmy’s face appeared in the doorway, droplets of water sliding down his face. “I know that Albin is my dad, mommy.”
I stood up and wandered over to him, my stomach twisting into tight knots. “How did you find out?”
“I heard you and him talking the other day,” Jimmy admitted, pausing to shift from one foot to the other. “Am I in trouble?”
I ran a hand through his hair and shook my head. “No, of course not. We wanted to tell you, honey, but we were waiting for the right time.”
Jimmy tilted his head back to look up at me. “Did I ruin the surprise?”
I crouched in front of Jimmy and smiled at him. “No, you didn’t.”
Jimmy’s face broke out into a grin. “Good, because I like that Albin is my dad.”
He threw his arms around me for a hug, and I squeezed. I held him to me, the smell of soap and baby shampoo wafting up my nostrils. When he drew back, I ruffled his hair before ushering him into the shower. While he sang at the top of his lungs, I studied my reflection in the mirror, wondering how I had gotten here.
All of the twists and turns had not ended up the way I thought they would.
But I knew I didn’t mind, not if it meant coming home to Jimmy and Albin.
After splashing cold water on my face, I helped Jimmy out of the shower and bundled him up in a bathrobe. In his room, I gave him my back and scrolled through my phone, wave after wave of nervous energy rising within me. Once Jimmy was dressed, he slipped his hand into mine and dragged me downstairs. At the foot of the stairs, Albin was waiting, in shorts and a t-shirt with an apron tied around his waist.
He led us into the backyard, where a table was set up.
Three plates were set, along with a pitcher of orange juice and a stack of pancakes. With a smile, Albin disappeared through the glass door and returned with a pan of sizzling eggs. My stomach grumbled when Albin pulled the chair out for me and waited for me to sit down. Underneath the table, he took my hand and laced his fingers through mine.
My stomach was full of butterflies all through breakfast.
As soon as we finished, Albin and Jimmy cleared the table and took everything into the kitchen. “Why don’t you get dressed while we tidy up down here?”
Jimmy nodded. “Yeah, mom. We’ve got this, don’t worry.”
In our room, I raced through my shower and pulled on the first dress I could find. Buzzing with impatience, I returned downstairs and found the two of them waiting for me by the door. Albin placed a hand on the small of my back and led me outside into the warm early morning sun, the smell of honeysuckle and wildflowers lingering in the air.
Once we were settled in the car, Albin turned up the radio and rolled the windows down. He and Jimmy sang along to every song while trees and houses whipped past us. Before long, we were in the city, taking a few unfamiliar twists and turns along the way. When we pulled up outside my parent’s house, I stared, and my stomach dipped.
I hadn’t been back here since the night I stuffed my belongings into a suitcase and wheeled it out behind me. The run-down apartment building looked the same, with a pair of old steps that led up to the front door. In a daze, I got out of the car and reached for Jimmy’s hand. Albin draped an arm over my shoulders, led me up the stairs, and pressed the buzzer for the intercom.
Someone buzzed us up, and we piled in, bile rising in my throat.
I was tempted to race back down and hide in Albin’s car until this was over. But I was curious and wanted to know why Albin had brought Jimmy and me, back to a place where we weren’t welcome.
I kept seeing myself on the night I left, in a pair of old jeans and a faded shirt, my eyes red and puffy from crying, and the ache in my heart unbearable. When I blinked, I saw myself carrying my suitcase down three flights of stairs and pausing outside the building, disbelief coursing through me.
