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The weeks right after I had found out aren’t ones I really want to remember. Being sad is one thing, but feeling like a foolish idiot on top of it makes for a powerful cocktail.
“I get it,” he says quietly.
I take a deep breath. “Anyway, I don’t know what Caleb told Kaelie, or his parents, or any of his siblings, actually. Maybe I should have spoken to them, but I had zero interest in that at the time.”
“Of course, not.”
I rest my other arm against the table. “What about your parents?”
His eyebrows narrow. “Mine?”
“Yes. How did they handle your sudden non-wedding?”
Phillip looks out at the ocean. “Well,” he says, “once the shock settled, they seemed pleased.”
“Pleased?”
His jaw tenses, his expression shifts into that of a man who decided he’s just overshared. “Yes.”
“You know,” I say, “if you were a witness on the stand, you’d be a difficult one to cross-examine.”
He looks back at me. “Yeah. I’ve been training for this very moment.”
“How about you? After the breakup, what did you feel?”
He looks at me for a long time. “We spoke about this before. Anger. Mostly at myself. And then…”
My curiosity is like a burning thing inside my chest. I wonder what happened to make Phillip and his ex call it off.
“And then?”
“Relief,” he says quietly. “That’s what I feel now, most of all.”
My mouth opens in soft surprise. Oh. That stage is hard to get to. “That’s good,” I say, nodding. “Isn’t it?”
“Mm-hmm. I’ve always been more of a clean break kind of person. When it’s over, it’s over.”
“No contact?”
“None, when it’s possible,” he says. He looks down at our hands, where he is still holding mine. “That’s really why I went on this trip.”
“To… have a clean break?”
“Yeah. She needed to move her things out of my apartment. Sticking around wasn’t very appealing.”
Everything makes sense, now. The already planned out vacation days, the expensive trip. None of that had really been his main reason.
I look down at our hands, too. The back of his is tanned and broad, all of his fingers ringless. Just like mine. “So that’s what’ll happen to us, then? After our fictional breakup? A clean break.”
“Hmm. I wouldn’t mind a dramatic breakup scene with unraveled knitting, but I’ll take what I can get.”
“I’ll see what sort of drama I can come up with.”
“I have full confidence that you’ll think of something,” he says. “Maybe fall into the pool this time?”
“Very funny.”
He leans in closer. “She’s still watching us.”
