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We went upstairs so I could grab my supplies and do a run-through of my workshop. Amelia was enamored with the whole thing, asking if she could make a mosaic.
When I finished running through everything, Elle said, “I think it’s going to be great. People will love learning about this.”
“You’re my sister. You have to support me.” It felt good saying that because I wasn’t sure I believed it until now. I was so used to my parents not being there for me, and when Elle moved away, I wrote her off too. I created the distance because I didn’t want to be hurt.
But now I understood that living with high walls wasn’t conducive to a happy life. It didn’t let anything in, the good or the bad.
“It’s going to be ’mazing,” Amelia singsonged.
“Will you come?” I asked Elle, almost afraid she’d say no. Sam said he’d be there, but I was afraid to count on that.
“Can we?” Amelia asked her mom.
Elle grinned. “We wouldn’t miss it.”
“Thank you for being there for me the last few years, even when I was checked out,” I said to Elle and Gray.
“You weren’t checked out. You were just finding yourself. You took the time you needed, and now you know what you want.”
“I want art to be a bigger part of my life. It’s what makes me happy.” Besides Sam and Maggie. I couldn’t imagine a life without it. “I’m happiest when I’m creating or teaching someone else how to do it.”
“Then you’re right where you’re supposed to be.”
I checked my email. I’d sent a message to Savannah a couple of days ago with a proposal to sell my crab mosaics in her shop. I offered three color combinations, shades of red and blue and the Maryland state flag, with the amount I wanted to charge and the shipping. I was nervous to send it, but in the end, I’d done it.
“It’s Savannah.” I scanned quickly through the email. “She still wants to sell my mosaics. She’s fine with the prices I outlined in my proposal.”
“That’s great, Alice,” Gray said.
I almost couldn’t believe what I was reading. “She wants me to ship twenty to get started.”
“Wow,” Amelia said.
“I need to get started on these right away.” I was in talks with a store locally, but Savannah’s was the first real agreement I’d come to.
“You’re welcome to set up on the table downstairs. This is still your space.”
I hugged Elle. “Thank you.”
“Can I watch?” Amelia asked her mother.
“As long as you don’t touch anything.”
“I’d love the company.” Making the mosaics and hanging out with Amelia would keep my mind off the what-ifs.
* * *
The morning of the workshop,I felt like I was going to be sick. Sam had sent a good-luck message, but I was too nervous to even reply. I’d never put myself out there like this.
On my previous video recordings, it was just my voice and my hands. I didn’t show my face, and I could almost pretend that no one would ever see it.
The shop owner, Marjorie, told me ten people had signed up for the class, but what if they changed their minds? After researching similar offerings in the area, I’d charged a fee that felt a little high to me. I doubted I was worth it. What if I couldn’t deliver? What if I was a horrible teacher? What if the attendees were disappointed?
I sat staring at the pancakes Gray made me, unable to eat a bite.
“You have to eat something,” Elle said.
She sounded like the mother I never had. Mine wouldn’t have condoned pancakes because it would make us fat. But Elle was completely different with Amelia.
