AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“We had a nanny because our parents were busy.” When he stiffened, I hastened to add, “It was nothing like how you are with Maggie. They didn’t rush home to see us. My mother didn’t even work. They were busy with social events, charity functions, dinners, and golf outings. Honestly, I don’t even know where they were half the time. We learned to tune out their excuses.” We learned not to rely on or expect anything from them.
I sensed Sam holding still next to me, as if he were afraid to interrupt. “So, I don’t know if my father ever had thoughts like yours. I think he probably didn’t. I would have liked to have someone looking out for me. And looking back, I think that person was Elle, and I pushed her away too many times.”
She was the one who attempted to shield me from the cameras, encouraged me to go to college, and told me to stay away from the Hollywood world, but I didn’t listen. I thought I knew better. I was jealous of her, thinking she had it so easy and couldn’t possibly understand.
“You’re close,” he said simply.
“We are now, and we probably were before she filmed the show.”
“You were teenagers when that show filmed. It makes sense it would have caused some strife between you. I can’t imagine having cameras following me around when I was at my most awkward.”
“Elle didn’t have an awkward phase. They wanted her to dye her hair blonde, but other than that, she was perfect. Flawless skin, intelligent, and everyone flocked to her. She was popular.”
“What were you like?”
Something told me he wasn’t interested in my thoughts on Elle, but in me. It was a dangerous conclusion. “I tried to keep up with her, do what she did.”
“It must have been hard not to be included on the show.”
“At first, I was too young. The producers didn’t want younger minors filmed.” It wasn’t my parents that made that rule; it was purely the people behind the show.
“And then?”
“They didn’t want me.” My voice was flat. “I realized too late that it didn’t matter. Nothing I did was worth it. I was chasing something that wasn’t real—fame, notoriety, money, and security—when I just wanted people to love me.” I stopped talking, feeling vulnerable. I’d told him my deepest, darkest truths. Maybe it was self-preservation. He’d see how messed up I was, that I was an empty shell of a person, and steer clear.
“I’m glad you figured that out. Many people are probably still chasing that empty dream.”
“I walked away from it. Came here. But I’m sure the same people I knew back then are still trying to get on a show, hanging out with other actors and musicians, hoping for a big break.”
“You’re not anymore.”
I laughed without any humor, shaking my head. “That world will chew you up and spit you out. I wouldn’t have survived it. But you’re right. It’s not what I want anymore.”
“What do you want?” Sam asked as he smiled and waved at Maggie when she passed us.
“I have no idea. I enjoy what I’m doing now, and that’s enough.”
“Mmm.”
“You think I should have something figured out by now?”
“Not necessarily. I was just lucky to be born into a family with an established, successful business. My father encouraged us to go to college, to explore other options, but we were welcome to work in construction.”
I let out a slow breath. “Your family sounds amazing.”
“They are. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t find the same thing. That you can’t create your new reality. You have Elle, Gray, and Amelia.”
My heart sank a little that he hadn’t included him and Maggie, but we’d only just met. I was new to him.
“You’re right.” I smiled at Sam, but my voice fell flat again. I don’t know if they’d forgiven me for what I’d done, but I hadn’t forgiven myself.
CHAPTER8
SAM
While we laced up our shoes and returned our skates to the hut next to the rink, I sifted through everything Alice had revealed to me. She had this haunted look in her eyes when she talked about the show and wanting to be on it. How Elle had tried to protect her, but she pushed her away. I was dying to know what happened, but at the same time, dreading the truth.
Had she been hurt? Had someone taken advantage of her? Had her parents not cared? It was clear it was the show that set the flimsy boundaries to not film minors. If they’d allowed it, would her parents have given in to her wishes and put a fourteen-year-old Alice in front of the camera?
