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ALICE
Keeping your dick out of the nanny might have been a good idea.
“Mac knows about us.”
Sam gripped the back of his neck. “He guessed.”
“And he doesn’t approve.” My heart was racing, and I felt light-headed. If Sam’s family didn’t approve of our relationship, then I didn’t know where that left us.
He grimaced. “You have to admit, it doesn’t look good.”
“To whom?” We weren’t flaunting it in front of Maggie.
Sam looked away from me. “Maggie’s mother, Felicia.”
My heart skipped a beat. “I thought she wasn’t in her life.”
“She just called. Said she’s coming for a visit.”
I felt the familiar walls rising around me, the distance growing between us. I pushed down the emotion, the hurt. “You need me to leave?”
He shook his head slowly. “Of course not.”
“But it would look better if I didn’t live with you.”
“I already told her. She doesn’t know about us, but she guessed. And she usually watches Maggie while she’s in town.”
“You won’t need me.” Pain sliced through my heart. I couldn’t be in the same house as Felicia. How would that work? They’d be the perfect three-person family, and I’d be in the way.
“I need you. Maggie needs you.”
I ignored his soft pleading. “I don’t want to get in the way. I can visit Elle.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
There was no question. I couldn’t stay at Sam’s house. He was right. It didn’t look good. Especially if Sam kept me a secret. His dirty secret. “It would be easier for you.”
“Probably.”
“This is about what’s best for Maggie, not us.” In the end, he’d choose whatever he had to in order to protect his daughter. I understood that, but it still hurt he wouldn’t publicly acknowledge us. If he did, it wouldn’t be illicit. Maybe he was ashamed, but I wasn’t. It was a relationship for me, not a fling. But maybe it had been different for him. Or I’d jumped to conclusions.
Sam took my hand in his. “I don’t want you to go, but it might be awkward for you. She’s used to staying in the guest room and having unfettered access to Maggie while she is here.”
“I understand.” But I didn’t. It felt like my heart was encased in ice. Cold wrapped around me like a protective blanket.
“Do you?” For the first time, Sam stepped toward me, his face etched with concern.
“Mac said it when I walked in. You shouldn’t be sticking your dick in the nanny.” I felt sick to my stomach repeating the phrase, but I needed those words in the air between us so I’d keep my distance. Is that how he saw me, as an easy fuck?
Sam had the good grace to wince. “I was hoping you hadn’t heard that.”
“But I did.” And I couldn’t erase it now.
Sam stepped closer. “I’m not embarrassed that we’re together. I’m falling in love with you.”
His words should have melted the ice around my heart, but they didn’t.
His voice lowered. “I’m just not ready to tell Maggie.”
