Page 57 of Love Me Like You Do


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As I went through my workday, I figured out how much money I needed to live on if I was in my apartment, not living with Harrison, and how much I was making from Gia’s referrals. I was surprised to find out that I made just enough.

That caused a pit to form in my stomach. Was it enough to quit my job? The more time I devoted to my invitations, the more I could sell on my online shop. I wouldn’t be as limited as I was now, so, conceivably, I could generate more money from my invitations.

I could make a go of it. But it was so scary to think about quitting the reliable paycheck every two weeks, the guaranteed health insurance, and other benefits.

That night, my mind was fractured. I wasn’t sure what to do with this new information. Was it a good reason to quit? Did I need to earn more before I made that step? How did anyone make these decisions?

Then there was whatever happened between me and Harrison last night and this morning. Would he act as if nothing had changed? I wasn’t sure what to do.

There was a note on the counter when I arrived, saying he was working on a project with Ethan. They sometimes worked on arbors for weddings, and I remembered that Gia wanted more ornate designs. Ethan owned the hardware store, The Red Toolbox, on Main and created handmade furniture as a side business.

It meant I had more time to work on my invitations tonight and mull over my options. But my stomach was unsettled because we couldn’t talk about last night. When Harrison still wasn’t home at bedtime, I covered his dinner and put it in the fridge before getting ready for bed.

When his arm banded around me after I’d already fallen asleep, I sank into him, enjoying the feel of him surrounding me. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I’d enjoy it for now.

The next morning, I woke before Harrison, getting up and showering before him. When I came out, he was making breakfast, as usual.

“You get everything done you needed to last night?” I asked, pouring the steaming hot coffee into my to-go mug.

“Yeah, it was a complicated piece. I needed Ethan’s help.”

“That’s not a problem. We’re not— You don’t need to clear it with me.” What I wanted to say was, we weren’t real. The things you did for a girlfriend weren’t in play here. But something held me back. We were in a weird middle ground after sleeping together.

“I wanted to be here tonight, but we’re meeting with the couple to show them our progress.”

“So, you won’t be home tonight?”

Harrison’s concerned gaze settled on mine. “Is that okay?”

“I have work to do, so it’s fine.” I tried not to be disappointed that we were both so busy and didn’t have the time to talk or figure out where we stood.

He kissed me. “We’ll talk this weekend. I need to shower. See you later?”

I smiled as he went to get ready for work. If we were dating and not living together, we wouldn’t be seeing each other every day. Our situation was only different because we lived together.

I wanted to talk to him about quitting, but I knew what he’d say. He was passionate about opening a business. He loved setting his own hours and being in charge, but he liked to joke around and say his boss was a real asshole. He mentioned many times that he worked harder for himself because he reaped the benefits. The more he worked, the more he made.

It was an attractive idea, but I wondered if I wouldn’t need to work longer and harder than I was now. Or was that a cop-out? An excuse not to take that step?

My stomach churned as I headed to work. I’d worked here ever since I graduated from high school. I thought I’d take college courses in the evenings, and I had, but I couldn’t figure out what to major in. I didn’t want to waste money on a degree I didn’t want, so I’d quit with the idea I’d go back eventually. But I never had.

Now I wished I’d taken business courses. Shouldn’t I be more prepared before I up and quit my job? I mindlessly scrolled through the community college courses, wondering if I should get a business degree before I quit. Or was that one more thing that delayed the decision I needed to make?

I was stressed and jittery the rest of the week. I kept missing Harrison in the evenings. Either he was meeting with a client, or I was. On Friday, he picked up Wren. It wasn’t his usual weekend, but there was something about Lola getting Wren on Thanksgiving weekend this year that precipitated the change. They shared Thanksgiving Day itself.

“You’re home!” Wren cried when I walked in the door.

“Hey. I missed you.” I set my bag down and wrapped my arms around her.

“We’re watchingBeauty and the Beasttonight.”

“That’s one of my favorites.” Even though I hadn’t watched it in a long time.

Wren smiled, pleased with my response. “Mine too.”

I followed her into the kitchen where Harrison was pacing while talking on his phone.

Glancing up, he said, “I’m ordering takeout. Chinese okay?”

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