AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She sighed and huffed and then, finally, turned around just long enough to shove a flyer into my chest before turning back to her path and walking again. I trotted along dutifully behind her, but I pulled the paper away from my body and read as I did.
Wet T-shirt Contestit said in big, bold letters at the top of the page. It was in that arched, bubble font from Microsoft Word that I used to use in the nineties on all my school projects.
Immediately, I started shaking my head. “Wet T-shirt contest? Are you serious, Crazy? You’re carrying my kid in there, and I stood up in front of our nearest and dearest and pledged myself, the rest of my fucking life, to your perfect titties just a short time ago, and already, you want to go sharing them with other people?”
She laughed the most ridiculous cackle and stopped dead in her tracks, spinning on her heel and walking back to put a hand against my chest.
“Oh, Thatcher? You thinkI’mgoing to enter the contest?” She shook her head. “I’m with child.”
Puzzled, I scrunched up my face. “Yeah, I know. But your tits are the only tits I see, baby. You planning to go Meredith Grey and 3-D print us another set or something?”
“Don’t be so naïve, T-bag. It doesn’t suit you. If there are thetwoof us, andI’mnot going to do it,whodoes that leave?”
“I don’t know,” I said frankly. “Because unless you plan on entering my nuts into the competition, I’m going to be sorely lacking in the globe department.”
“Oh, please. Like you don’t work out your pecs seven days a week. You’ll crush all the Pollyanna eighteen-year-olds.”
I looked around the empty sidewalk pointedly. I didn’t see any eighteen-year-olds anywhere. And that wasn’t even me trying to be cute—you’re the only woman I see-type shit.
We were really and truly the only goddamn people on the whole block.
In fact, that kind of made me suspicious about the contest in the first place.Where in the hell did she find this flyer?
I pulled it up toward my eyes to look at it again, scanning over the contents quickly. Wet T-shirt contest, Gill’s Bar and Grill, South Main Street, High Noon…
Ah, yep. There it is.
March 16th and 17th.
I didn’t know how I was going to break it to my sweet wife, but this contest hadalreadyhappened. Seven fucking months ago.
Ready to smugly deliver the news, I looked up from the paper and into her bright-blue eyes again.
Only, once focused, all I could see there was a swirling mix of emotions and hormones and desperation that just about broke my damn heart. I couldn’t tell her this thing didn’t exist right now any more than I could tell her no when she’d wanted to try swinging from our headboard and doing an Olympic dive onto my dick last week. And let me tell you, that hadn’t been a good idea. I’d had to ice my dickandballs for twenty-four hours solid just to feel a semblance of normalcy again.
“Where did you get this?” I asked instead, shaking the paper between us meaningfully.
She shrugged. “It was on a brick wall in one of the alleys next to the hotel.”
Yeah, that made sense.
“All right, then. Lead the way, I guess.” I glanced at my watch. “Seems to me we’ve got about twenty minutes to get there.”
“Really?” she asked, happily bouncing on the tips of her toes like a little freaking kid.
I nodded. “Really. Let’s go.” After we got there and found out the contest had long since passed, maybe we could focus on the chicken wings. I was fucking starving after all.
Cassie turned then and practically ran the rest of the block to the big, green neon sign that read Gill’s.
It looked like an Irish-style pub, so I could only hope that after I found some way to break the news of our late arrival for the contest, they would be able to console us both with some good food.
Cassie smiled back at me and pushed open the door to the pub as fast as she could manage. It swung back and banged into the wall of the entry hallway, and the man behind the bar in the main dining room jumped at our wild entry.
I doubted if he saw much of anyone this time of year, much less a woman who looked so damn enthusiastic to be there and her extremely large companion dressed like King Kong had just pledged Kappa Beta.
I jerked up my chin in the universal guy sign for hello, and Cassie power walked her way straight toward him with a smile on her face.
“We’re here for the contest,” she proclaimed cheerfully, making me wince a little bit.Maybe I should have told her before we got here.
