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Fear? Worry? None of it meant anything. This was all there was.
As her eyes opened to his determination, her hand rose to his face. So much satisfaction came in pleasing the man, in giving herself to him with such open abandon, no barriers stood between them.
For the first time in her life, a brief flash of resentment toward their condom only enhanced her pleasure. That was how much she wanted to belong to him, how much she longed to be the only one beneath him, offering him shelter and acceptance.
“Macushla,” he panted, his control ragged in the growl of his voice. “Ser…”
“I’m with you, baby,” she gasped, grabbing for the back of his neck. “Shit, Conn! I’m—”
His long growl came with a thrust that hit her so deep, she felt it in every trembling nerve.
“Conn…” she sighed, her palm moving to his cheek.
“I need you to tell me…” he said, breathing hard. “You need to tell me the truth.”
“I will,” she said. “I know I should’ve said something this morning—”
“No,” he said, taking her hand from his face as he dropped onto his back beside her. Flattening her palm on his chest, he rolled his head on the pillow to meet her eye. “How far did you go with him?”
Evander again already. Had he been on her lover’s mind the whole time they were screwing?
“In the deli? He took my hand and—”
“Has he fucked you?”
“No,” she said, propping herself on an elbow. “No! Conn, we’ve never even kissed. Not…” Swaying his way, she pressed her mouth to his. “It’s so different…” Sliding her hand out from beneath his on his chest, she unbuttoned his shirt. “I was nineteen when we met. A bunch of us got fake IDs and ended up in one of the Manzani clubs. I can’t even remember now if we knew that.” She semi-shrugged, opening his shirt to stroke his torso. “I probably did. My dad was in the organized crime division for years… We were partying, thought we were all that and…”
“He hit on you?”
“Yeah,” she said, watching her fingers caress his flesh. “He came over with so much swagger… He was a kid then too, I guess, twenty-something, mid-twenties. He was probably used to getting every girl he winked at. All the guys with him, they hooked up with my friends… I ended up calling Lach for a ride home. He’d always said I could call no matter what, and he said nothing in the car, but…”
Relaxing onto her back again, she covered her eyes. What was she doing? All he’d wanted to know was if she and Evander ever slept together. Of course he needed to know that if he was going to confront the guy.
“But what?” he asked, scooping her breast from her bra cup.
His mouth was around her nipple when her hand dropped from her face. “You don’t care,” she said, sitting up to take off her shirt and bra only to lie back down. “It doesn’t matter. Point is, Evander didn’t get lucky. He never got lucky with me. We’ve never made out. No first base, second base, nothing—”
“But what?” he asked, his eyes on hers though he massaged her breast. “McLeod said nothing, but…?”
“You don’t have to confront Evander about the deli,” she said. “Not on my behalf. I understand you want to protect your people, you should. I know you’re responsible for them and I apologize they got caught up in this, that you got caught up in this. I told you I didn’t need protection and I meant it.”
“We’re so far past that point,” he said, sitting up. “You’ll move in here—”
“I’m not moving in here,” she said, sitting up as he rose from the bed to go into the closet. “I can’t live here. How will that help? Do you have men who live here full time?”
“Stag is completely secure.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” she said. “Unless you plan to set one of your guys up to take the heat, Evander will keep coming for your people.”
For as long as she and Connel were involved anyway. As long as she kept visiting Stag and staying the night.
“It’s Friday,” he called out.
Scooching to the edge of the bed, she wrapped the sheet around her body. “Which means?”
“He’ll be in Hustle all night.”
“Hustle…” she murmured to herself, then shot to her feet to storm into the closet. “His sex club? You want me to go to his sex club?”
