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Touching me like this, so close to the video cameras on the lawn, means he’s caught. Does Rudy want to be caught? This is suicide. Human beings are hard-wired for survival. The Mother taught me so.
Why is Rudy doing this?
And why does he look at me with such a gleam in his eyes?
I never know who my bodyguards are at any given time. They appear, a quiet rotation of men. Jason has been with me the longest, for more than five years. Malcolm is new, here only for a few months, but he blends in seamlessly and does whatever Jason tells him.
They all use fake names. Rudy isn’t even this man’s real name. He plays my husband, so he’s been around me the most since we’ve lived here these last three years. He is here for any public routines.
Today is the first time he’s done anything untoward.
Today is also the last time he’ll do anything untoward.
Ever.
“If you leave now,” I hiss in his ear, sinking my fingers into Winnie’s soft fur, “you may live.”
His body tenses, the hand on the back of my knee dropping quickly, but he says nothing.
“Leave,” I insist. “They watch me. You know they’ve seen you.”
“Seen me do what, Princess?”
“Don’t call me that,” I snap.
To an outsider, we’re petting the dog, our words impossible to hear even from a few feet away. The fact that he’s staying quiet tells me that he knows I’m right.
“I call you Princess all the time. It’s a title of honor. You are the chosen one,” he says, going back into character, as if the way he’s touched me for the last few minutes didn’t happen at all.
I know what he’s doing. My mother warned me. Men who want to touch a piece of heaven can’t help themselves. “All men aren’t bad,” she said the last time I saw her, twelve years ago, “but there are some who want pieces of you. They’ll do whatever it takes, even if the pieces are the ones you need to survive. Don’t ever let that happen, Paigelynn.”
My mother’s eyes had narrowed as she studied me, her head tilting before they took me away. “All of the pieces of you are destined, all of the pieces of you are holy, and all of the pieces of you are meant for men who don’t have to take pieces away in acts of fitful desperation. When it is time, you will freely give the pieces of yourself to them, as it is said in the Prophecy.”
“How will I know?” I had asked.
Her eyes had narrowed, like a hawk. “It’s your responsibility to stop the men. They cannot help themselves. You can.”
At the memory, shame and lust rupture in my blood as I think of Cam.
Winnie perks up her ears and turns toward the house. She lets out a bark, a single snap that seems to bring Rudy back to attention. We both walk to the front door, my hands shaking as I hold the leash, taking it from Rudy as he passes it on to me.
This time, he is careful not to touch me.
Too bad it is too late.
“You’re different,” he hisses. “Your signals are confusing.”
“Signals?”
“You know what I mean.”
“How could I possibly know? You’re being vague. And rude. Your name certainly matches you today!”
My masters have taught me obedience, but not in the face of lessers.
Or transgressors.
And Rudy is now both.
