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“You said at dinner that you were in a relationship but it ended,” Hollis says. “Was that around the same time I lost Matthew?”
“Itwasaround the same time,” Gigi says. She’s being reckless now. She’s basically asking Hollis to figure it out:The person I lost is the same person you lost. That is our connection.
“I thought so,” Hollis says. “There was a point in our DMs where you went dark for a while, and I figured something must be going on with you.”
Yes, Gigi “went dark” right after Hollis confided in her about what had happened on the morning of Matthew’s death—how angry she was that he was missing their holiday party, how they’d quarreled. Hollis had said she was afraid Matthew was going to leave her. She’d left a voice mail for him and sent a text, both saying she loved him, but she had no idea if he’d received them.Thishad thrown Gigi for a loop. Imagine being Hollis and not only losing your husband but having all of that unresolved emotional business.
You have to tell Hollis what happened!Gigi thought at the time. But that would only have made things worse. Why hadn’t she just cut Hollis off?
“I should have asked questions about your life,” Hollis says. “But I was completely self-absorbed. I do care about you, Gigi, and I’d love to hear more about what you went through.”
Gigi shakes her head. “It wasn’t quite the same as what you’re going through. The man I was with… we weren’t married and we didn’t have children together. But in a way, that makes it harder. I don’t have much to hold on to now that he’s dead except my memories… and I’m not sure if you’ve experienced this, but memories lose their clarity with time. I find myself wondering,Did that really happen?”
Thenow that he’s deadstops Hollis in her tracks. “Dead?” she says. “The man you were with died too?” Suddenly, she feels short of breath. Gigi’s boyfriend, partner, significant other—hedied?Right around the same time as Matthew?
Gigi had meant to sayNow that he’s gone,which could be interpreted more than one way. She can’t believe she saiddead. By coming here this weekend, she was choosing to stand at the edge of a cliff, and now… what? She’s going to jump? She has approximately two seconds to correct course and say something likeDead to me, I mean,but that won’t work.
“He died, yes,” Gigi says.
“Hold on,” Hollis says. “Wait a minute.” She shakes her head and Gigi chastises herself for taking this walk. “Why didn’t youtellme?”
Well,Gigi thinks. She has no words to offer in her defense. Any second now, Hollis is going to figure it out.
Hollis sucks in a breath. She’s confused, shocked; she feels weirdlydeceived. All those other people on the website reached out to her with their stories of sudden, unexpected tragedy, but not Gigi. Gigi just sent the simple wordsI’m here to listen.And later she let Hollis spill her guts about losing Matthew, but she didn’t say a word about her own situation. Something isn’t right here—and Hollis fears that something is her. Gigi didn’t offer the information because Hollisnever gave her a chance. Hollis assumed Gigi was being altruistic. And, worse, Hollis thought Gigi felthonoredto be the person Hollis chose to confide in.
Caroline is right,Hollis thinks. She is a phony.
“I am so mortified,” Hollis says. “Everything you said to me was so insightful, so spot-on, exactly as if you’d been through the same thing. I should have guessed that you’d experienced a similar loss.” Hollis reaches out to touch Gigi’s arm and—is this her imagination?—she feels Gigi flinch.
Oh, this is awful. Hollis let her status on the website blind her; it created a power dynamic where Hollis’s grief was somehow more important than Gigi’s.You’ve changed. And we’ve changed.
But still, Hollis wonders: In all their conversations, why didn’t Gigisaysomething?
“What happened?” Hollis asks. “To your… to… what was his name?”
“Oh,” Gigi says. She can’t construct an alternative narrative under pressure like this, can she?His name was Mike, he was a pilot for United. His name was Mark, we met at the gym. His name was Maxwell, he was Mabel’s vet.“I want to tell you all about it. But honestly, Hollis, I’m… just trying to let it go while I’m here.” She opens her arms to the sky, a gesture so theatrical that Gigi is embarrassed for herself. “You have given me the greatest gift I could have asked for, which is a complete escape.”
Hollis stares at her, though she’s wearing sunglasses, so Gigi can’t tell if she buys this. Gigi thinks,I should have just said, “Mark. We met at the gym.” The most boring answer is always the most believable. Heart attack on the treadmill. Maybe a history of cocaine use that he was hiding.
It makes perfect sense now why Gigi agreed to come, Hollis thinks. She needed this weekend every bit as much as Hollis needed it. “I’m so happy you’re here. Last night when we were dancing… I hope you didn’t feel left out? Or like a fifth wheel?”
Gigi laughs, mostly from relief. “I enjoyed the show.”
They walk along a little while without speaking, Hollis thinking how she must haveintuitedthat Gigi had been through something similar, Gigi thinking that when she gets back to Buckhead and relates this part of the story to Tim and Santi, they will never, ever believe that Gigi got that close to the fire but managed not to get burned.
Dru-Ann isn’t a “There’s something healing about the ocean” kind of girl, but—there’s something healing about the ocean. It’s the chill of the water, the saltiness, the waves that roll over her shoulders and occasionally over her head.The ocean,Dru-Ann thinks,is vast. It’s profound. What do a handful of Twitter trolls matter compared to the magnificence of our planet and the mystery of human existence?
She has to stop thinking this way; she sounds like a poster in the dentist’s office.
Dru-Ann sees Hollis and Gigi finishing their walk. Dru-Ann windmills an arm. “Come on in!” she shouts. Hollis waves but heads back toward the house. Gigi smiles, takes off her watch and her sunglasses, sets them inside her hat, and steps into the water. She dives in, and a moment later, she surfaces right next to Dru-Ann. She has the kind of eyelashes that clump together when wet and hold drops of water like little jewels.
“This water issublime,” Gigi says.
“Are you a beach person?” Dru-Ann asks.
“City person,” Gigi says. Dru-Ann thinks,Right—Singapore, Atlanta.She was actually listening last night. “But it’s hard to beat this.”
Dru-Ann has to agree. Nick’s house on Lake Michigan is lovely, it has its own beach, but the lake is nothing like the Atlantic.
